The End Of Time
by IcingCandy
Summary: "Even if we can't find Heaven, I will walk through Hell with you." If you could start the 57th Expedition again and make Petra alive, would you? Levi would.
1. One Shot, One Opportunity

**Hello! This is my first time writing a SNK fanfiction so I am pretty nervous! For me, Levi's character is so hard to shape but I hope to make him in character so I will try my best! =) Rivatra is my OTP and it is a tragedy that Petra had to die. So for this fic... it is probably a way to express my fantasy of them being together.**

 **Anyways, enough of me talking. Let's get started on this journey through time! To you, I give you...**

* * *

 **The End Of Time**

 **Chapter 1 – One Shot, One Opportunity**

* * *

A knock resonated in the empty corridor.

However, there was no reply from the room the knock was given to.

The ginger hair girl bit her lips and withdraw her hand from the door, unclenching her hand which was formed into a fist before. She lowered the hurricane lamp and was about to try again when a strong and firm voice was heard from the room.

She brightened up. Too much for her liking.

"Who is it?"

"Petra, heichou," the ginger hair girl answered with her gentle and soft voice. There was a subtle hint of nervousness.

A pause. "Come in."

Gingerly and hesitantly, Petra stepped into Levi's room. She always thought going into Levi Heichou's room was like stepping into the World of Narnia. This place was so different from the rooms and places she had to bear with for trainings and camps where filth and dirt was basically their surroundings.

This place, Levi Heichou's personal room, was clean. No. Clean would be an understatement. The floor and wall was scrubbed till polished – even though they were made of stones and wood, not marbles. The windows gleamed and reflected the reflections of the large bed, desk and closet. There was no speck of dusts around. Everything was cleaned meticulously to an inch.

And it was cleaned by…

Petra's eyes landed on the said man who was sitting on his large bed – a bonus for being in the high rank – who was currently looking at her with his usual bored gaze. Her eyes travelled downward and widened as she saw him wearing his uniform with the 3D Maneuver Gear with his dark brown boots. Everything was normal except…

His shirt was unbutton, showing his muscular and lean figure – one that is desired by women and men alike – and his Survey Corps' jacket and cravat were nowhere in sight.

Petra felt herself flushing. The deep intense gaze he was giving was slightly too much for her to take… and seeing her Heichou's muscular chest…

"Tsk. What is it?"

Petra's head shot up, as though as finally realising why she was here. She quickly cleared her indecent thoughts and straightened up.

"Commander Erwin requests for a meeting immediately before the 57th expedition tomorrow. I was told, on the way, to inform you."

"Tsk," Levi crossed his leg over another. "Disturbing my plan to bathe," Levi narrowed his gaze. That would explain why his shirt was unbuttoned, Petra mused. His shirt hung dangerously opened and Petra swallowed back a nervous gulp.

"Erm…Levi Heichou," Petra opened her mouth again, this time her voice trembled.

Nervousness? Levi thought but looked at her in a way to say "go on, I am listening".

"Would you like a cup of black tea after the meeting? I-I bought some from the market this morning. It was rare to find." The ginger hair amber eyes' girl was looking anywhere but him now, waiting for the ultimate and undeniable rejection.

There was silence and Petra lifted her head. "For-"

"I will be back in thirty minutes," Levi said and left.

Petra stared after him and smiled.

* * *

He often wondered if history would change its course if that night they both had continued what they were almost doing, if he had let things change between them. After all, didn't they say time can be altered even if the slightest thing was changed?

He would never be able to find out.

An ear splitting sound snapped him out of his thoughts. He glanced down and saw that the table he had set his paperwork on was reduced to a pathetic heap of wood. His eyes flickered over to his hand. It was clenched tightly.

He must had broken the table with his clenched fist.

The door slammed opened. A tall woman with hair tied back into ponytail stood by the doorway. She pushed her glasses up. "Levi, I got something to show you!"

"I have no time for your ridiculous titans' experiments or any other ridiculous things you do. And," he added, looking up, face expression, "learn how to knock, shitty glasses."

If Hanji was insulted or even offended by Levi, she hid it well as she simply pouted. "That is mean!" Before her eyes flickered toward the heap of wood and the pieces of papers scattered on top of it. "What are those?"

Levi had always thought Hanji was weird. Who would ask about the papers first instead of the table that was reduced into a mess of wood?

"Petra's death document," he answered almost without emotions. Almost. But if you had been with this short man for a long time, you would have seen the slight betrayal of emotion – of grief – in his eyes. And Hanji knew just that.

"Didn't you send out Oluo's, Eld's and Gunthers to the respective families already?"

"Hers came in late so I had to do it later," Levi answered, again with that monotone.

Hanji was quiet, absorbing the words. The death of Levi's squad in the 57th Expedition was a great loss to the Survey Corps and the Survey Corps' members. After all, the four of the deceased members were respectable comrades and nice to be around with. The loss of Petra's friendliness and sunny behaviour was the most prominent remainder that she was dead, along with Oluo, Eld and Gunther.

"Well," Hanji broke into a grin. "I had something to show you after you are done!" She was swift to change the topic. She, for once, did not want to be reminded of losing few of the closest comrades she had. And, she knew that Levi was greatly affected by the death of his squad even though he controlled it well.

"I said I had no part in your crazy experiments," the short man answered curtly.

"Aww! Come on! You wouldn't want your tiny secret of fearing and loathing mold to be leak out, right? The strongest solider of humanities scared of mold and mildew!"

Levi's hand stopped moving and Hanji smirked smugly.

He looked up, a glare sent her way. "I will be there after I am finished here."

"YES!" Hanji punched the air with a burst of energy. Levi glared at her, a frown marring his features. "Get out."

"Yes, Heichou," Hanji said teasingly and Levi was reminded of a certain ginger hair girl. He shook his head and continued his work. Only to snap his head up when he noticed mud footprints courtesy of Hanji's riding boots.

"Clean your shit out, you shitty four eyes!"

* * *

After he was done, he decided to grab a cup of tea before facing his fate in the name of Hanji and her experiments. He searched for the tea leaves as the water boiled. He opened a cupboard and froze when he saw a packet of black tea leaves pasted with a small note. His name with a 'Heichou' behind was written on the note in a neat girlish handwriting. Along with a smiley face behind those two words.

He stared at it for a while until the kettle shrilled. He walked over along with the packet of black tea leaves in hand.

* * *

"How is it?"

"How is what?"

"How is it, Levi?!" Hanji pushed up her googles and stared at him with wide eyes, her grin stretching across her face scarily, causing the soldiers around her to fidget around uncomfortably.

Levi stared at her before sliding his gaze over to the disgusting and mammoth-size titan sitting on the floor with his…no, its legs and hands pierced with nails. Despite the obvious torture, its expression was showing none of that; in fact, with its eyes staring at them soullessly and its teeth mashing together – wanting a feast of humans – it seemed almost comical.

Levi's eyes narrowed. Hideous creature.

"We are experimenting on this yet again. I would appreciate it if you would ask…plead Erwin for some funds!" Hanji said, starry eyes on the short man who was currently ignoring her.

"Ask him yourself," Levi said. "I have plenty of things to do." He turned around on his heels.

Hanji coughed. "Ahem, remember my words in your office, just now? Bud-dy?" Hanji rested her hand on Levi's shoulder.

Levi stopped walking. "Tsk. We are no buddy. Get your filthy hand off me."

"And?" Hange said in a sing-song voice.

A pause. "I will stop by Erwin's office later. Don't get your hope up."

"It is to see if hidden in the spines are humans like the Female Titan that killed P-"

One second Hanji was standing beside Levi and the next, she was flung to the opposite end of the room as Levi sent her flying.

"Tsk! Shut up," Levi almost growled. Something tells him he should be more composed; he was slipping out of control. The air was tensed and charged with nervousness.

Hanji stood up, brushing the dust off her. "Levi-"

Levi stared at her for a long while and without another word, he took off.

Walking out of the room, he almost slapped himself for almost losing his emotions there. He was Humanity Strongest Solider. He knows that. Losing a comrade was normal. It is like breathing. Easy… so easy but … losing his squad like that…

Losing her just like that without ever seeing her smile or drink her tea anymore…

It just was not fair. God was not being fair. He was shouldered the responsibility of Humanity Strongest Solider. He had to lose so many people around him.

Losing her now was breaking many of his straws and he wasn't even sure when his last straw would be. There were a collection of his comrades' badges in his drawer. He took Oluo's, Eld's and Gunther's but he could not even take hers. No. Correction: he gave hers away.

"Tsk," Levi was getting annoyed with himself. What was he doing? He had a meeting soon. It was time for him to get going.

It was at that moment where everything went bright and the floor beneath him crumbled to nothingness yet he was still floating.

He glanced down. Was it another of Hanji's stupid prank? He had no time for this shit.

He blinked again and that was when everything in his vision was back to a second earlier. The brightness was gone and he was standing upright on the floor again.

His eyes flickered down to the floor. Maybe it was time for another cup of coffee. After all, he only slept two hours and five minutes last night.

There was a sound of the knock.

Levi looked up and took in the sight of his surroundings.

He was in a room – or more specifically, his room. Was he not in the corridor earlier on?

"What the-" he muttered.

He noticed the knock and addressed it. "Who is it?"

"Petra, Heichou."

And for the first time in his entire life, Levi felt just the tiniest tremble from his body.

* * *

 **Took me pretty long to type this story! If you enjoy it, please read and review!**


	2. Phenomenon

**laraneechan: Thanks for your lovely review and for giving it so much love even though it is only the first chappie!**

* * *

 **The End Of Time**

 **Chapter 2 - Phenomenon**

* * *

"Ah, erm…"

Levi stared at the ginger hair beauty in front of him. This is unreal. She is unreal. She died, a voice in his head reminded him. It must be an illusion.

"Levi Heichou, did you hear?"

Hearing that sweet voice drifting into his ears was so surreal.

"Commander Erwin asked to see you for a meeting…" The ginger hair beauty eyed him worriedly. "Are you alright?"

Levi snapped his attention back to her. "Yes. Thanks for telling me," he rose from his place from the bed.

"Erm…Would you like a cup of black tea after the meeting? I-I bought some from the market this morning. It was rare to find."

Levi paused. It was the exact same thing she said the night before the 57th Expedition. What is happening?

"Erm, for-"

"I will be back in thirty minutes," he said simply and closed the door behind him. He continued walking down the corridor. What was happening? It was like he had gone back to the past. Petra talked about the 57th Expedition but was it not over? And…why was she still alive?

"Oh, Heichou."

Levi looked up and got the second surprise – not sure if surprise was an understatement – as Eld and Gunther walked up to him and they salute.

 _Aren't they dead?_

He nodded as an acknowledgement and continued walking even though his thoughts and feelings were all fumbled around with.

If they had not died and the 57th Expedition had not begun, does that mean…he travelled back in time?

That is impossible, Levi told himself. Levi was not one who believed in all these magic and fantasy stuffs unlike his counterpart, Hanji.

He reached Erwin's office and pulled it opened. The blonde hair commander was waiting for him. In the usual seating position. Like that night. Everything was like that fateful night.

"Levi, are you alright? Take a seat," Erwin motioned toward the seat on his right.

Levi walked toward it and sat down, freezing as he listened to the exact same words repeated once more.

The strategy, the formation, and the way it will be carried out…

Levi's mind was in a chaos. Why is it like that? Is this a dream? No, is it a nightmare? Why is the 57th Expedition brought up again? And why is his squad alive?

"Levi, you sure are quiet."

Across the room, the spectacle-wearing woman commented. "Nervous about tomorrow?" She smirked.

Levi suppressed the urge to roll his eyes. "Tsk," was his only reply. He fell silent after that and went through the meeting without really listening. It was going to fail. If this was a d-nightmare, was he going to watch the tragedy happened all over again? Without being able to stop it?

Why is God torturing him like that? Just why did he have to bear Humanity's Strongest Soldier title?

After the meeting was done, Erwin asked him to stay back.

"Are you alright, Levi?" The commander asked him, his blue eyes piercing. "We can't have you sick for this crucial moment. Humanity's fate rest on you."

"I know," Levi said. He was silent for a while. "Erwin, this is the 57th Expedition? Not the 58th?"

"Hmm?" The commander raised his bushy eyebrow. "I am pretty sure it is the 57th. We are taking Eren out to prove him capable."

So this is a nightmare, Levi pondered. Could he wake up soon? This seemed too real…

"Get some rest," Erwin said, still looking at Levi. "Good night."

Levi nodded and left the meeting room. When he was about to open the door to his room, he paused when he saw that the door was left ajar.

Petra.

He pushed it opened and there she was, in all her beauty. Ginger hair, honey orbs. Haunting his nightmare now like a ghost of memories.

"Heichou!" The flustered girl spun around and as she was carrying a tray of two cups and a pot of tea, her abrupt movements caused the teacups to lost its balance on the tray and fell toward the floor in a cacophony of noises.

"Ah!" The girl widened her eyes. "I am so sorry! I will clean the mess right now!" She set her tray down on the bedside table and hurriedly crossed the room, accidentally stepped on the broken fragments.

"Ouch," Petra grimaced. "I am sorry!" At this point of time, she looked like a tomato, with all the flushing, and looking slightly teary eyes. Hobbling toward the door frame where Levi was leaning against, she was about to leave the room to collect a broom and dustpan when Levi grabbed her elbow.

"Tsk. Are you an idiot?" He said with his usual monotone. "I will clean it up. Go and sit by the bed."

"But it is Heichou's bed! I can't possibly-" Petra shook her head and looked up at him.

"This is an order," Levi said calmly.

"Yes…" the ginger hair girl hobbled to his bed and sat down on the edge, reminding Levi of a young girl. He stared at her for a little more.

Frankly speaking, he wanted to look at her a bit more, even if this was a nightmare.

"H-heichou?" Petra caught him looking at her and tilted her head, asking.

Realising that he was staring at her a bit too obviously like a pervert, he turned around and went to fetch the items required to clean the mess up.

* * *

"I am so sorry!" Petra apologised for the umpteen times as she poured black tea into the teacup. Handing it to Levi, she bowed again apologetically.

"Tsk, how many times are you going to apologise?" Levi accepted the tea, inhaling the aroma. "This is really expensive. You should save up and sent it back to your dad or something."

"Oh…I got it for free," Petra explained. "The shop was opened by my childhood friend's mother. I was supposed to be her son's fiancée…everything was planned… but I joined the Survey Corps that year and…" the ginger hair girl shrugged, leaving her sentence unfinished.

Levi drank his tea slowly and set it down on the saucer. "Petra."

"Yes, Heichou?" the amber eyes girl looked at him.

"Have you ever regretted joining the Survey Corps?"

Petra looked startled at his abrupt question. "No, not at all," Petra shook her head, smiling. "I have Heichou and everyone around me," she continued, still smiling.

At that moment, Levi was overwhelmed with grief and regrets. She would regret it. She would regret her decision if she knew she would die tomorrow.

And he was forced to watch this nightmare again. It felt almost too real. He screamed at his head to let him out of this cage but to no avail.

"Heichou?" Petra tilted her head sideway. "Are you alright?" She asked, concern reflected in her honey orbs.

"Get some rest, Petra. Tomorrow will be a tiring day," Levi said, feeling rare "thingies" choking him – emotions, perhaps? – as he said "tomorrow".

Petra stood up. "Yes."

"Is your leg alright?" Levi looked at her feet.

"No problem! It is just a scratch. The bleeding had stopped," Petra smiled brightly. "Thank you for caring, Heichou!"

She saluted him, placing her fist on her chest. "Goodnight!"

Levi nodded, his heart heavy as he watched her closed the door behind her and her slender frame disappeared from his sight.

* * *

"Let the 57th Expedition!" Erwin roared as everyone charged out of Wall Maria. Levi led his squad, his mind and heart forfeiting to the grief and sadness in him that threatened to drive him to the edge of insanity.

Why is this nightmare not stopping yet?

As he expected, everything felt into the same place ...sighting abnormal, losing comrades and reaching the forest… and as he was sent to capture the female titan – which he knew he was going to fail – Levi stared his squad one last time before using his 3D maneuverer gear to head for the doomed capture.

He closed his eyes and mumbled a faint goodbye. The leaves rustled in that single moment, as though as echoing his goodbye in the whispers of wind.

* * *

The next time he saw his squad it was as predicted.

Gunther being sliced in the neck, dangling among the trees. Like what they will do to a titan. Is this fate of a Survey Corps Soldier?

Eld bitten in half, eyes still wide opened with regrets? Levi doesn't know. Doesn't want to think about it.

Oluo was lying in crimson liquid and eyes wide opened too. Levi had to look away.

And then, finally….

Her.

She was smashed against the tree. Soulless eyes glancing up into Heaven. Blood tainted her features. Levi slowed down and stepped on the tree branch.

Not like this…

Seeing his squad dying again was Hell. He had always think that perhaps it was his fault that they died – that he went and refilled his gas tank.

Or that…by joining his squad and handpicking them, he had set them the destiny of death.

But either way, he was going to shoulder this responsibility of their deaths for eternity.

Just like Isabel's and Farlan's.

He had to shoulder everyone's deaths around him. He had to…carry it all his life.

"Tsk," he gritted his teeth. Let his nightmare end now.

This was too real…

Almost like reality…

Almost…

Then, without warning, everything melted away, leaving him in a bright glow. It was Déjà vu. He had seen this.

He blinked. And then, he was in his room again.

Was the nightmare finally over?

A knock on the door.

He looked up.

"Who is it?"

What is the time now anyway? He had to get up to finish his work then…

"Petra, Heichou."


	3. Resolve

**SkyeEHeart: I am glad you like it! Please continue to show your love!**

 **Loki: Your username is interesting. And I took a while to decipher your ambiguous review. =P Thanks for the review anyway!**

 **PS. Be warn of the language. If you are offended, try and turn a blind eye to it! =)**

* * *

 **The End Of Time**

 **Chapter 3 – Resolve**

* * *

Levi froze, feeling his breathing almost stopped. What the…

"Come in," he said, sounding weird even to his own ears. The door creaked opened and he looked up from his bed.

There she was again. It was the second time he had saw her in this bizarre nightmare. Gorgeous silky ginger locks and those warm and beautiful honey orbs. Slender frame and smooth skin.

"Heichou," Petra approached him but still keeping a respectful distance. "Commander Erwin asked to see you for a meeting…" she eyed him worriedly. "Are you alright?"

"Tsk," Levi stood up. "As long as I get out of this shit," he mumbled and Petra blinked.

"Erm…I beg your pardon, Heichou….?" Petra asked. She was probably thinking why he was acting like this.

"Nothing," Levi rose from his bed.

"Erm…Would you like a cup of black tea after the meeting? I-I bought some from the market this morning. It was rare to find."

Levi turned around and looked at her. "I will be back in thirty minutes. You can just place it on the bedside table and wait for me," he added.

Petra blinked, surprise. "Oh…s-sure!" She beamed, revealing her sunshine personality that complimented his stormy personality so well.

Levi opened the door and looked around. If this was a nightmare, it is too real. Which means…

He needed to find a certain someone who he really wished it was the last person he needed to find for these type of stuffs…

"Oh Heichou."

Eld and Gunther saluted him on the way on his search. This added reassurance that he needed to find that certain someone who should be around since the meeting was starting.

Just as he reached the meeting room, he saw the person he needs to find.

"Hanji."

The said person, dark brown hair tied in ponytail and wearing a spectacle and his comrade for years, turned around at his voice.

"Yo! Levi!" She grinned, her energetic greeting annoying Levi as usual.

"I need to talk to you for a while," Levi said.

"Hmmm?" Hanji raised an eyebrow. "Sure. Go ahead."

"Not here. Somewhere in private."

The door opened and Erwin came out. He looked at both of them. "I was going to go and fetch you both. Let's get in."

Levi turned to Hanji. "After the meeting."

Hanji nodded, curiosity shown on her face. It was not every day his grumpy friend wanted to talk about something in private (Hanji deduced that it must be personal) – in fact there wasn't any days he wanted to talk about anything personal.

Levi watched the meeting unfold exactly the way he predicted. As the hands on the clock ran around the face of the clock, Levi got more restless. He knew something was wrong. It just … did not feel like a nightmare. Once is fine. But twice? And so real. Something was off.

* * *

The meeting finished and Levi practically dragged Hanji by her ponytail to a discreet corner, out of everyone's sight.

"So…so what is it~?!" Hanji asked, turning away as a smirk formed on her face and her spectacle caught the moonlight, turning it silvery white.

Levi stared at her as she continued smirking away, watching as a strange "hehehehe" sound drifted from her to him.

"Oi," Levi said.

"What is it, Levi~?" Hanji suddenly spread her arms and looked at him with sparkly eyes and a flushed face. She shoved her face right in front of him.

"Tsk, get away from me," Levi narrowed his eyes and pushed her off with his palm on her face.

"Levi~~" Hanji said, still grinning away. ""What is it?"

There was a moment of silence.

"Oh!" Hanji slammed her right fist into her left palm. "Hehehehe…Is it a confession?!"

Hanji's grin widened creepily and she pat the shorter man's shoulder. "Now, now…I know you want to confess to me but you don't have to be so secretive, Levi…"

"To hell with you!" Levi said and pushing her hand away from his shoulder, he swung his leg out, aiming for her waist.

Hanji, with a fast reflex, jumped backward. "Now…now…" Hanji straightened her spectacle. "What's it?"

"Do you know anything about time travelling?"

"Huh?" Hanji turned serious suddenly, all the smiles left her face. "What?"

"Time-travelling," Levi repeated, a frown etched on his features.

"Yes…but why asked this suddenly?" Hanji asked.

"I been through the 57th Expedition twice – this is the third time," Levi said, crossing his arms and bending his left leg to place against the wall.

"Third time?" Hanji said, widening her eyes. "Levi…don't joke like that…"

"Do I look like I am joking?" Levi narrowed his eyes. "I don't understand either."

"Levi, time-travelling is a phenomenon that I have been researching for as long as I had done experiments on titans…maybe longer," Hanji said. "It is a powerful ability to time-leap, especially in our Universe where Titans are beyond the walls. In fact, if time travelling was possible, and at its most powerful, we could had prevent the titans from ever existing or finding out more about the titans back when they first started appearing." Hanji continued. "And…because we could alter the course of history, then the future will change," Hanji pushed her spectacle up again and the moonlight caught her glasses, turning them silvery.

"You four eyes freak, it sounds complicated," Levi said.

"Levi," Hanji said. "If you have been through the 57th Expedition, did we …succeed?"

Levi widened his eyes slightly as memories of his squad's corpses flashed into his mind. "Tsk," he looked down, causing his hair to fell forward and shadow his eyes.

"…" Hanji regarded him quietly. "How do you know you had time-travelled?" She changed the topic.

"I keep waking up in the same place after…" he left the sentence hanging.

"Same place? Where?" Hanji asked.

"My room. Where Petra will knock on the door and then inform me about a meeting," Levi answered.

"So…when did you time travel?" Hanji questioned again.

"Tsk! Is this a fucking interrogation?" Levi asked in a louder voice than normal, annoyance in his voice.

"It is serious, Levi," Hanji replied, without her usual joking tone. "When did you time travel?"

"First time, it was after you captured a titan a few weeks after the 57th expedition… the second time it was directly in the 57th Expedition."

"Did anything similar occur?"

"…" Levi kept quiet. He thought it through but his mind drew a blank.

"Well," Hanji said, sighing. "You drop a bomb on me before an important expedition…so what happened to the expedition?" Hanji asked, looking up.

Levi explained it thoroughly, unlike the usual brief explanation he tossed in on his reports. Hanji listened quietly, absorbing his words. It was the first time Levi had spoken so much in a single minute.

"Ed, Gunther, Oluo…Petra died huh?" Hanji said, looking down. "So our strategies did not work, huh?" Hanji said to herself. "It did be great if we can tell Erwin or even the Survey Corps about it. But, time travelling is a concept where things can change even the slightest when you make a different choice in the present. We can't afford to tell others and let them change things as they want to. Who knows what will happen when… if we assume you time travel again – if the consequence would be worse and if you cannot go back in time again," Hanji said.

"I don't think anyone would believe me, except for you, you freak," Levi said.

Hanji laughed. "That is one of the problems too. Anyway-"

"Hanji," Levi interrupted suddenly.

"Hmm?" The ponytail squad leader looked at her comrade. "What?"

"Tsk."

"You want to save your squad?" Hanji asked. Levi did not respond.

"That is possible," Hanji said slowly. "Plausible. Because, if you can time travel and you are telling me you can time travel before 57th Expedition, you can change the fate of them by preventing their deaths." Hanji explained.

"However," Hanji suddenly looked at him very seriously. "Because we do not know what causes you to time travel and if you will be able to time travel again…so, if you decided to take another path to what you originally did…and the results are not satisfying – maybe even less satisfying than the very first time…" Hanji trailed off.

"Tsk," Levi turned away. "It is late."

Hanji straightened up, her expressions clearing. "Good night, Levi…by the way, it is not good to keep a girl waiting, don't you think?" Hanji chided.

"What are you talking, you four eyes shit?"

"I mean, Petra," Hanji said. "I caught her heading for the kitchen and have a talk with her before the meeting," Hanji said.

"…" Levi turned around and walked back to his own quarter.

Hanji stared after him, a serious look passing her face. Good luck, Levi. You would need it.

* * *

If what Hanji said was true…Levi narrowed his eyes as his mind conjured up images of Farlan and Isabel.

He closed his eyes and opened them again to look at his palm. This time, he was not going to make the same mistake. He was given a second chance and to hell with what they say was Fate. If it was Fate, he just had to destroy it!

A ginger hair and amber orbs girl came into his mind, smiling gently at him.

He clenched his fist. "Tsk," he muttered. "What am I thinking?"

"Ouch!"

All of a sudden, he felt like he crushed into something and as he glanced down, he saw that it was her.

Petra.

"Oh, Heichou!" Petra looked up. "It was getting late and I was worried…"

"I had a discussion with Hanji about tomorrow," Levi said. He extended his hand silently.

Petra looked up at him, blinking. She smiled – her face slightly tinge with red – as she accepted his hand. "Thank you," her smile widened.

"Tsk. For what? I was the one who crashed into you," Levi said. "Let's go."

"Let's…go?" Petra echoed.

"To my room," Levi answered. In the back of his mind, he was thinking that it sounded a bit…wrong and dirty but he quickly pushed it off.

The ginger hair girl blinked. "I have your tea in your room…"

"Tsk," Levi said. "Didn't you have two teacups ready?"

Petra blinked again and Levi sighed impatiently. She flushed. "O-oh, y-yes, Heichou!"

He turned around and started walking as the girl followed him quietly. They entered his room and the tray was placed on his bedside table. He took a seat on his sofa – another bonus for being in the high rank – as Petra poured his tea.

"It is a bit cold now…"

"It is fine," he answered.

"Here you go," Petra handed him the cup carefully, so as not to spill tea onto her Heichou. And so, in order to do that, their hands brushed against each other.

Levi could have sworn that Petra's face was on fire at that moment. He avoided his gaze from her so as not to make her feel any awkward. He took a sip of his black tea. It was lukewarm, not the way he preferred but still good. Black tea was rare to find and the fact that Petra's fiancé's mother had stock like this in her shop meant that…they were probably rich.

"Petra," Levi started.

"Yes, Heichou?"

"Why did you join the Survey Corps?"

"Eh?" Petra looked startled. "Oh…that." She said quietly, looking down at her hands which were clasped tightly together. "I had always wanted to do something for humanity. I wanted to be useful for someone – for something." She paused and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "I guess that is why I decided to give up on marrying and having children," she said and smiled but the smile trembled and was forced with efforts.

"Ah, Heichou, it is late, I should return back to my room," Petra swiftly changed the topic.

"Did you regret joining the Survey Corps, even if you were to die?" Levi asked, ignoring her previous statement.

"No, not at all," Petra smiled the same smile like she did when she replied his question…a while ago. "I have Heichou and everyone around me during the days I am alive and even if I am to die…at least I know I would die with honour and that at least I did something for H-"

She broke off and her face started turning red.

An awkward pregnant pause lingered in the air.

"Ah!" She said, widening her eyes as she blushed fiercely. "Nothing!" She raised her voice a bit louder than she wanted to. Suddenly, seeming to notice that she just rose her voice against her higher up, her right hand flew to her mouth. "Sorry! I will go back now!"

"…" Levi took a sip of his tea and watched as the girl practically ran out of his room before coming back a second later to close the door behind her.

What was she trying to say in the end, anyway? Levi mused. He leaned back against the sofa, staring at the ceiling.

Tomorrow was the 57th Expedition and according to Hanji, if he was able to observe the situation correctly and change something in the history then…they wouldn't die. He glanced down at his black tea and watched the surface of the tea silently.

Her face appeared in his mind.

And a ripple casted itself on the surface of the black tea as he raised the teacup to his mouth.

* * *

The 57th Expedition, for the third time – at least for Humanity's Strongest Soldier – was beginning. He was eerily quiet and serious. He could see the soldiers were all shrinking back from him.

"Tsk," Levi muttered as he urged his horse to be closer to the gate. He glanced down at his hands and felt them clenching the rein tighter.

"Heichou."

Levi looked up.

"Heichou seems different today," Petra said quietly.

Levi continued to gaze at her.

"More…" Petra trailed off. "I have never seen Heichou like this in the expeditions we had," Petra continued. "Is there something worrying you? Eren….?"

"No," Levi said. "No. Let's go. The gate is opening."

Petra nodded and watched with a concern look as her Heichou moved forward to fall in line with the higher ranks.

"Are you going to change things, Levi?" Hanji asked as she turned her head sideway to glance at the shorter guy.

There was no response from him but Hanji could sense the resolution from him.

* * *

Everything happened the same way after that. Deaths. Their routes to the forest. Sighting abnormals. Killing. Defending and protecting Eren. More deaths. Into the forest.

With each passing moment, Levi was planning something in his head. Finally, as they managed to capture the female titans and he left his squad, then he resolved to use that idea.

He would disobey Erwin.

Levi had always been a cool-headed, very composed person. He rebel against every single thing in this world to find his own happiness with Isabel and Farlan. However, once he entered the Survey Corps willingly – after their deaths – he had never rebel against Erwin. Never disobey.

Until now.

Narrowing his eyes into slits, he made his way to capture the female titan.

If the plan to cut the nape of the female titan and retrieve the person (which he knew it was Annie) inside passed then he doesn't need to. But what was the odds? Before he "time-travelled" (he still found the idea absurd) they had still not much idea about how to confront that skill of hardening her skin.

So the only way to change the history was to disobey Erwin. Because that was how it started. He went to refill his gas tank but rushed back too late. If he did not refill his gas tank, what would happen? Would he be able to save them?

He had to try.

The capture failed. As expected. Well, he was kind of numb to it after 3 times.

"I'll call up my squad," Levi said.

"Wait, Levi. Resupply your blades and gas."

"…" Levi glanced down. "I will trust your judgement," he said with a heavy heart – unsure if the feeling was because he knew that the judgement was off or because he was lying. And he was off. But not to refill his tank.

He went off in the direction to refill his tank and then change route. For the first time since a long time, adrenaline pumped into his veins.

"Tsk," he was annoyed with himself.

He was reaching the place where his squad was when there was a weird sound coming from his 3D Maneuver Gear. He glanced down at it.

"…"

An ominous feeling engulfed him.

"Fuck," he said as he was slowing down. It was impossible…he should have enough…

He needed to push himself forward. He needed to or else…

He was reaching. Just a bit more. Hold up a bit more…

Please...

"!" Levi widened his eyes as he saw a figure in a clock darting through the tree and he knew instantly it was her.

Annie Leonhart.

"Gunther!"

His voice sounded strangled to even himself. Unlike his usual composed self. It came out like a command.

His voice cut off abruptly as the figure slices his neck.

And his 3D Mneuver Gear suddenly dropped him.

Levi covered his eyes with his bangs as he landed on the ground, twisting his ankle in the process.

He stared over at the place where a bloody battle will take place.

And he will be helpless.

"SHIT!"

* * *

 **Well, I hope it is okay...this chapter. Anyway, I thought that Erwin must have his reasons to ask Levi to refill his gas tank... So, there you have it! Chappie 3! See you next time!**


	4. Inception and Illusion

**Hello! I would like to clarify a few things. Firstly, Hanji, even though was not given a gender in the manga, I would like to place her as a female. Secondly, I am no expert at quantum physics but I would try my best in my research to give you the best. Thirdly, I would like to know if you all would like this fic to become a M-rated fanfiction? Lastly, thanks so much for the views! It makes me so happy!**

 **Without further ado, I give you...**

* * *

 **The End Of Time**

 **Chapter 4 – Inception and Illusion**

* * *

He opened his eyes again to his room. He had never thought that his room was a safe haven for him or anything but now, after seeing the bloody bodies of his squad once more as he walked slowly – due to his sprained ankle – to the place where his squad had battled and failed.

Seeing her body, for the first time, closed up, since he was not on 3D maneuver gear was almost like a nightmare…no. It was a nightmare. But one where he was awake and reality was harsh and cruel – like always – on him.

The knock on the door came.

"Come in," he said. His voice was gruff, even to his own ears. Raw and rough, like a man who had seen too much. This time, he did not even bother asking who it was.

The door swung opened and she was there again. Alive. Her honey orbs were beautiful. That was Levi's first thought when she entered the room.

"Petra," he stood up, wasting no time. "Erwin called?"

Petra blinked and nodded. "Yes, Heichou," she saluted.

Levi walked past her and her strawberry and sunshine scent that emitted from her hair was so different from the blood stained hair and the metallic smell that radiated from her hair … the previous time.

"Erm…Heichou-"

"Petra," he interrupted. "I will be back in an hour's time." He said and left, leaving her slightly confused as to why he said the last sentence.

* * *

Levi's walk was brisk, his eyes darting around, searching for the squad leader.

And he finally saw her.

Hanji. In the kitchen. Gesturing around and laughing evilly at the head of the table while several other soldiers squirmed around on their seats. Desperate to leave.

"Hanji."

His voice sliced the air and the said person turned around.

Her grin widened. "Levi!" She waved.

Levi winced inwardly. "I need to talk to you." He said.

She lowered her hand and regarded him curiously. She nodded. Standing up, she walked toward him.

"I will be back to tell the stories again!" Hanji waved happily at the rest of soldiers.

Levi had a feeling Hanji would be coming back to find empty chairs.

She followed him to a discreet corner.

"Erwin has us for a meeting in another 10 minutes," Hanji informed him.

"I know," Levi replied. "But it is not going to work."

"What do you mean?" Hanji looked at him, her jokey attitude vanishing.

Levi went through the same conversation with her, only adding in the previous try where he disobeyed Erwin.

After he was finished, Hanji tilted her head sideway. "So, I – as in the "I" in the previous timeline, said not to tell Erwin, huh?" She mused aloud. "Levi, what are you going to do now?" She looked serious.

He looked away.

"According to my old self, you had not found out how you manage to time travel? What is the common point?"

Levi narrowed his eyes. Each time he time-travelled, he was thinking about Petra and the desperation to save her. At that thought, he inwardly jolted. That…is the common point?

"Saving." He was quiet for a moment before adding, "them."

Hanji rubbed her chin absentmindedly with her fingers. "Well…let's discuss about this after the meeting. You said that we were taken by surprise by a Female Titan, huh?" Hanji was very thoughtful. "And you can only time leap to this night, yeah?"

Levi did not disagree but did not respond either.

Hanji's lips curled. "Well, you must have strong desire to save your squad. Levi~ you are not as stone hearted~~"

Levi's eyes twitched and he brushed past her. "Shut up, you shitty four glass."

* * *

Once the meeting ended, Levi dragged Hanji by the ponytail – albeit needing to stretch a bit to take her ponytail hostage – to his room for a discussion in private.

"Levi~~ what would other people think?" Hanji said, her eyes wide with excitement as she wandered around his room.

"Oi," Levi said. "We are discussing. And go stand at the carpet. Don't mess up my room."

"Am I not even allowed to sit down?"

"Yes. Judging by your personality, you haven't bathe. I wouldn't let a filthy person sit on my bed."

"Geez~" Hanji pouted but went and stand by the doormat.

Levi sat on his sofa, his arms spread out. "Have you any ideas?"

Hanji looked down. "It is hard," she admitted honestly. Her voice was the softest Levi had ever heard since he knew her. She rested her weight against the back of the door. She tilted her head to look up to the ceiling. "But let's go ahead with the planning!" She suddenly looked down at Levi, her expressions changing from one of solemn to maniac. She grinned and Levi could almost see her snorting out smoke in her excitement.

He sighed. It was going to be a long night. He hated planning things with her but it was inevitable. He needed to.

"If you succeed, it is good. If not, explain everything to me in another timeline about it," Hanji smiled as she turned to open the door. She looked at him, their gazes meeting. "I know you don't want to repeat history but don't push yourself too hard. Sometimes," her face saddened. "We can't help but play by the hands of Fate."

She walked out and closed the door behind her.

Levi slumped back and glanced at the ceiling for a little while. He got up and headed out to his favourite spot. The balcony. It was a discreet corner hardly used by anyone and it resembled the place where Isabel, Farlan and him last watched the sky together.

He stopped at the entrance to the balcony as a silhouette was already there. He was about to turn around when the figure called out to him.

He instantly froze.

It was her.

"Heichou? Is that you?" Her voice was sweet.

Levi sighed inwardly. Bracing himself, he turned around. He nodded. He does not really want to see any of his squad members today. It was stressing him out. Even with the planning done by Hanji and him, he was still quite doubtful.

"Heichou?"

"It is me."

He slides out of the shadow. It was full moon that night and the stars twinkled in the dark blue background. He saw her leaning against the balustrades, her ginger hair almost silver under the moonlight. She was facing him and smiled gently, softly. Her features were accented with the moonlight and it made her looked even prettier. Levi felt a current of something shoot through his veins. His heart beat louder.

He had always thought she looked cute but nowadays, the feelings were growing.

"Are you here to look at the full moon too?" Petra was asking.

"I just want to be alone," he answered bluntly. Petra made an "O" with her mouth and Levi thought she looked ridiculously cute. Her expressions dissolved into the same gentle smile she always placed on her face.

"I will leave then. I had seen enough," Petra said and stepped forward, brushing past him.

The next moment was not something Petra expected.

Something warm grasped her wrist. Not too tight but the grip was firm enough to stop her in surprise.

She turned, a look of surprise colouring her expression as she glanced down at Heichou's hand.

"Stay." His hair had fallen into his eyes and it was impossible to gauge his expressions.

Petra widened her eyes. "Heichou…?"

"Stay here."

Her expressions softened and she glanced down at their hands, still interlinked. She smiled gently, tilting her head and allowing her hair to fall forward to cover her face now tinged with pink. It felt almost like a dream…Heichou holding her hand like this.

"Heichou's hand is soft…"

Levi turned to look at her, staring at her. She gasped, realising she had said it aloud. Her hand flew to her mouth and embarrassed, one of her hands reached up to twirl a lock of hair.

Levi glanced at her. With the moon beams striking down on her, she glowed like an angel. It felt like a dream that she was alive right here. He had watched her died three times yet here she was, alive right now. In this very moment.

"H-heichou?"

Noticing his intense gaze, her face reddened but Levi broke his gaze and sat down on the balustrades with one of his leg on the balustrade and the other dangling. He glanced up at the sky.

"Isn't it pretty?" Petra smiled as she joined him to lean against the balustrades. He patted the seat beside him and seeming to get his meaning, she clambered up the balustrades. She was setting herself right when she lost her balance.

Levi's reflexes were quick as lightning. He wound an arm around her slender waist and balanced her.

Petra blushed as she felt his skin came into contact with hers. It felt warm on this chilly night and reassuring. She could feel how broad his shoulders were. She half smiled. They were the shoulders that bear the responsibility of Humanity. Her heartbeats were irregular and the speed more than normal. She could feel the thumping from within. Her blush deepened when she realised Levi might have heard it too.

He lets her go as he stabilized her and a light breeze caressed their faces. Her hair grazed his face again. Smelling like strawberry and sunshine, but even stronger than the scent earlier. He noticed her hair was slightly damp.

Seeming to notice him staring, she explained softly, "I just had a bathe."

He reached up to touch her hair gently. She froze and her breaths became slightly louder. His fingers were soft against her hair, just ghosting over it but it was sending shivers down her spine.

"Petra."

"Hmm?"

"It smells good," he commented, taking a lock of hair and pushing it to his nose. She flushed.

She looked up at the sky, trying to ignore the fact that Heichou – the Heichou she is in love with – was sniffing her hair. "The night sky is so beautiful – wide and vast. It feels almost like freedom up there," she commented, stretching her fingers up and glancing at the gaps between her fingers which was the starry night sky. She pulled her legs up and wrapped her arms around them before lying her head on her knees. "The very fact that we are fighting to see more of the sky makes me happy."

Levi did not say anything and looked up into the night sky with her silently.

"You know…" Petra broke the silence. "Has Heichou always wondered what it feels like to be someone normal out there and look at the same patch of sky we are looking at now but do not think about freedom, titans or killing but simply just contented to be with the world you had built around you?" She paused. Her question lingered in the air for a brief moment. "Ah…what am I talking about?" she mumbled, lowering her gaze.

Levi looked at her for a moment. It was unlike the ginger hair girl to be so contemplative in front of him and dare he says, sad. But he was reminded of the fact that they had done so much training the past month with Eren to prepare themselves for the 57th expedition that even he was slightly tired and even though she was a soldier, above all else, she was a woman. She must have been mentally and physically worn out too.

Levi sighed inwardly. Looking at her now and talking with her will dampen his mood later if he cannot save her again. He glanced down, his hair fell into his eyes again. He thought about her question. Was that not what he had wanted? Just to get a pass to the "above" and tears away from that filthy underground place and living with Isabel and Farlan, simple and happy.

He had only cried once from their deaths. He had swallowed back his emotions but now, with the honey orbs' owner by his side, he felt an overwhelming feeling to grief. Maybe he was comfortable with her or perhaps she just had this soothing atmosphere about her, but Levi found her presence very soothing to him.

"I have," Levi said suddenly. Petra glanced down at him as he was bending down, her expression softening.

They sat silently side by side for a very long while until the moon was high up in the sky. Petra's eyelids were getting heavier but she tried and hide it. The man beside her seemed to be in a bad mood and she did not want to leave him alone. She sighed inaudibly, looking at him.

She loves him.

That was for certain. It was extremely obvious to Oluo, Gunther and Eld. In fact, they often teased her and she would scowl at them. She glanced up, watching as a cloud drifted toward the moon and momentarily covering up the moon beams. But that was not possible. He is Humanity Strongest Soldier. She is in his squad and a Survey Corps soldier, first and foremost, to protect Humanity against the titans and to fight for the freedom.

She tried and stifled a yawn. Her eyelids were getting really heavy. Maybe just let her close her eyes a bit…

Levi felt a weight on his head suddenly and he glanced down. Petra was resting her head on his shoulder and from her light breathing and her eyes closed, she was fast asleep.

Levi stared at her for a minute before looking away. He stayed still and just glanced up at the moon. His mind flickered through the plan, micro scooping into every single details he had to do tomorrow.

He spared a glance at her, looking at her features that was soft and delicate like a young child's. When she had her eyes closed, the energy and her aggressiveness as a Survey Corps Soldier fades away, replacing it with a quiet, gentle and very lady-like look. He closed his own eyes and pictured his own world where happiness was simple – just like a dream.

* * *

Her eyes fluttered opened and she realised it was pitch dark. She fumbled around until she grabbed hold of a hurricane lamp. The pool of light emitting from it spilled out like the content in a bottle.

The room was unfamiliar. She knew instantly that this was not her room. The window and bed were not in the correct position and the bed lining was wrong. She swung her legs down and slipped out of the bed. She moved the light around, trying to discern where she was. Until she saw the sofa.

Laying, fast asleep, was Levi. He was still wearing his Survey Corps clothes but he had slung the light brown jacket over the chair. His arms were crossed and his position tensed even in his sleep. His 3DMG harness was beside him, ready to be grabbed hold of in case of emergency.

Petra widened her eyes, her foggy mind beginning to clear. This is Heichou's room! She blushed at the mere thought of being in his room in the middle of the night. She glanced down at him and saw that he was not having a blanket. Hastily, she hurried toward the bed and stripped the blanket and spread it over his body. He looked uncomfortable in his sleep and Petra's fingers ghosted over his forehead, feeling the beads of sweat gathering there.

She glanced down at him, wondering why she was in his room. She had fallen asleep on the balcony but… She flushed again and stood up quickly. She was being a nuisance to Heichou. He was sleeping on the uncomfortable sofa because of her. She peeked out of the windows and saw that dawn was approaching. She could see rosy fingers creeping into the sky, painting a myriad of pink and orange as another day begin dawning in.

She walked quietly over to him. It was going to be dawn soon and he will be waking up. Their expedition was today. She had to get ready too yet…

She stared at his features. Sleeping Heichou was so different from the awake Heichou. His features were softer and the frown that always marred his expressions was gone. She smiled at the man she loved and that was when she noticed how close her face was to his.

She widened her eyes and stifled a gasp. Then, after a beat, with face crimson in colour, she pulled the blanket over his mouth and lowered herself. Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, she closed her eyes.

And her lips ghosted over the blanket that separated his mouth from hers.

When she opened her eyes again, she was horrified to see that his eyes were opened and staring at her. His face was expressionless but his eyes were stormy with emotions Petra cannot fathom.

She quickly straightened up but in the midst of doing so, Levi gripped her thigh and she let out a squeal, startled. And tumbled onto him.

* * *

Levi was, even as a calm person, taken aback when he woke up to the feeling of Petra's lips over his, only separated by a blanket. He was watching her getting flustered, half admitting to himself that he was amused.

Then, maybe it was on impulse because he was not sure if she will be alive or dead later or maybe it was because the kiss she had bestowed upon him had made him uncharacteristically lightheaded, he reached up and cradled her face and kissed her.

* * *

To say Petra was mixed with emotions would be an understatement. Her heart was pumping wildly and her eyes were wide opened with frozen shock as Heichou's tongue searched for hers fervently, trying to make her lips opened. She was horrified by the fact that him – her Heichou – had found out about her kissing him and was definitely shocked from the sudden turn of event. But most of all, she thought as her mind threatened to push away all these emotions to reveal a new one, she was flushing and feeling tinging sensations all over. She was in guilty pleasure.

Her lips parted and Levi slides his tongue in without a beat of hesitation. He flipped her over and pinned her arms over her head as he continued kissing her so passionately that it was like he was craving for her.

She kissed back, though she was still protesting half-heartedly.

And then, abruptly, he stopped. He hoisted himself up, careful not to put his weight on her and got up, leaving Petra in a panting mess.

He glanced down at her, keeping his face expressionless. It felt like a need to memorise her features and her breathes when she was alive. Maybe in another few hours, she will not be but for now, it is alright. He mentally whacked himself for even kissing her.

She had recovered and slowly sat up, her eyes refusing to meet his.

"I need to meet Hanji for a while," Levi said as he looked out of the window. The sun was beginning to creep into the sky. "You can get the shower first."

Petra shook her head. "You can go first," she said quietly. Levi felt an urge to gather her in an embrace but resisted it and walked toward the shower.

* * *

After he was done, he found no sight of her in his bedroom. He paused for a moment before getting to dress.

That was when his door flung opened.

"I said learn how to knock."

"Geez…how did you know it was me?" Her voice, annoyingly loud even at the crack of dawn, pierced through the stillness of the air he preferred.

He proceeded to button his clothes, facing away from her.

"Levi, you did not tell me that you want me to knock," Hanji was saying as she flopped on her bed.

Moments later, Levi had kicked her ass off it and she was a heap on the floor. "I said not to sit on my bed too."

"Levi," Hanji suddenly stopped as she got up, dusting herself in the process. "Petra was in your room."

Levi glared at her.

She raised an eyebrow, measuring his expressions. She sighed. "What? I could smell her scent on your bed." She was quiet for a minute. A pregnant pause hung in the air. "Levi-"

"No," he said.

"I haven't even said what I wanted to say…" The ponytail squad leader pouted.

"Only your perverted mind would think of that," Levi tsked.

Hanji grinned at him as though as acknowledging his words before she became serious. "Levi, you do realise that since you have time travelled multiple times, you will be confused over which memories are in which timeline. In fact…you had never ask me to try and knock on your door in this timeline. Yet." Hanji smiled wryly.

"…"

"Just like the fact that," Hanji stopped, looking at him for a fraction longer than necessary before continuing. "Just like the fact that whatever you and Petra did last night," Hanji looked at the bed doubtfully. "Will not happen in another timeline. It means she will not have memories of anything."

"I know that," Levi said, his tone clipped.

Hanji had a sad smile on her face. She crossed the room to the door before slipping her hand into a pocket and tossing a piece of paper to him. He caught it perfectly.

She turned. "That is to see if anything on you will be carried to another timeline….if you failed what you did now. If it did go to another timeline, use that to explain to myself from another timeline." She walked toward the door. "Walking the line of a time traveller is so hard, yeah? Everything is like an illusion."

Levi did not say anything for a brief moment until Hanji was out of sight. He glanced down at the paper. Even if he would be an illusion to everyone, he…

* * *

"Let the 57th Expedition starts! Erwin's voice was full of dignity and as Levi urged his horse forward, he was determined to bring forward the plan he and Hanji had planned.


	5. Decompose and Reconstruct

**Thanks for the continuous support! :) And yes, I am sorry for the delay in this chapter which is too short to compensate for the looooongg time it took me to write. This chapter is slightly confusing. But it would be explained in the next chapter. Enjoy reading! And reviews are very very much appreciated!**

 **About the M-rated content, I shall keep it to one-shots if I do have any scenes of it. I will be updating you all if there are. Once again, thanks so much for your love for this story!**

* * *

 **The End Of Time**

 **Chapter 5 - Decompose and Reconstruct**

* * *

Eren, round this tree and ride back toward North," Levi said as he led his squad toward the South. It was definitely not what their formation was. Their plan was to head all the way to the Forest Of The Giant Tree.

"Heichou!" Petra exclaimed, her eyes widening at his words. Eld and Gunther shared uneasy glances while Oluo frowned.

"Eren!" Levi's voice rose in a commanding order, causing his squad to fidget uncomfortably. Levi hardly give any orders on his own; he let other take over the leadership unless necessary. "Meet Hanji over there," Levi said. "She will be waiting. The Female Titan know you are here already," Levi said quietly under his breath. Petra, who was at his right flank, stared at him, surprised. "Heichou…how do you…"

"Eren, listen, the Female Titan want to capture you," Levi looked over his shoulder at the brunette's confused and conflicted expressions. "Go back to Wall Rose. We will fail this expedition if you come with us, anyway," Levi narrowed his eyes. "Avoid the path we took. Continue riding north until you see Hanji."

"But Heichou-"

"Petra, I will deal with Erwin later." Levi's voice slashed through the air as their horses inched closer to the chosen destination.

"Eren, go," Levi said. His voice was firm, leaving no space to argue or fight back.

The brunette widened his eyes, opened his mouth seeming to want to protest but with a futile look on his face, pulled the rein and turned around. Levi watched as the horse galloped away.

"We will defeat the Female Titan at once as soon as we saw her approaching us in the Forest Of The Giant Tree," Levi said as he increased the speed of his horse. "She…it will probably be thinking Eren is with us. Find the culprit immediately," he said harshly and coldly, causing the squad to leave no protest or question why their Heichou was doing this.

Levi narrowed his eyes as the Forest Of The Giant Tree came into his sight. His mind flashed back to the moment where Hanji and he was planning.

* * *

 **Levi, if you are saying the Female Titan is after Eren, then we will remove Eren first, Hanji said. Then we will find the culprit – Annie Leonhart, you said? – By dealing with it immediately upon reaching Forest Of The Giant Tree because we took too long…in your version of the past. Even if it is hard, we got to try. It might reduce the amount of soldiers we will lose. And even if we fail, I suspect we might be, your team should not be killed because there are the supports of others and your commands over them. Levi, I will ride back to Wall Rose immediately after Erwin heads off in front. I am supposed to be way behind anyway. Bring Eren over, immediately after you had parted ways with Erwin. I will be waiting.**

 **Hanji, Levi spoke.**

 **Yes, Hanji looked up.**

 **That wasn't bad, Levi looked away.**

 **Hanji burst into a loud guffaw that was embarrassing but pleasant to hear all the same. The Great Levi is saying thanks to me, she chortled, causing Levi to kick her in the ass directly. Then, as she quietened down, she smiled. Erwin would be mad, she stated.**

 **I know. Leave all the responsibility to me, Levi said.**

 **Hanji smiled. We shall see, she answered softly.**

* * *

That was her first planning. He shoved his hand into his pocket, feeling the piece of paper, smooth under his rough hand. This had to work. This had to.

"We will move to combat mood at once as we reached the trees." Levi said. "I will answer Erwin later. Just focus on capturing the female titan," Levi narrowed his eyes. Then, we will see Annie Leonhart, he thought.

"Heichou! What are you talking about? The main point for this expedition is to protect Eren until-"

"Petra," Levi said, his desperation coming through just a little. "It won't work. We will lose many soldiers on the way. That abnormal is a monster in its own world," Levi said.

Petra shut up after that. Something in his voice made her stopped. The rest of the squad fell silence. The alpha voice had spoken and they all heard the strange strangled voice of a man who was desperate.

They traded their horses for combat mood where they stood at the top of the tree. Eld and Gunther were on the left tree, Oluo in the tree beside them. Petra and Levi were on the right tree.

"Heichou, what is this all about?" Petra asked. "You seem so out of character since yesterday…"

He looked over his shoulder, his face expressionless. Looking at her soft and disquieted features he thought back about their kiss and Hanji's words. Yes, that kiss was an illusion. For her, at least. And what about him? What was that kiss for? Fondness? Recklessness? Love?

A strong feeling of resolve crashed into him. He wanted her to live. Yes, definitely, for he did not want to lose anyone beside him anymore. But if you ask his heart deep down, it was because he did not want the kiss to be an illusion. He did not want her to forget. What they had here cannot be shared in another timeline. Even if he succeeded saving her in the next timeline, how could she remember this kiss? How?

"Petra," Levi looked away. "I will tell you about it after the 57th Expedition." He looked away.

"W-"Petra started but Eld interrupted.

"Heichou, sighting of the abnormal!"

"Let's go," Levi said. He drew his sword. This time he would succeed.

Petra nodded, still perturbed.

Levi turned around, his eyes lingering at hers for a little longer, before looking forward. He would save her.

* * *

"Eren, you will be placed in Hanji's squad," Levi said when they were riding South. Gunshots of sighting titans and abnormal were everywhere. "Immediately. Once we travel farther from here. Hanji's squad will be here. We had asked Erwin for permission." Levi said, looking over his shoulder at the surprise faces of his squad.

"I thought we are the one protecting-"Petra started but Levi interrupted.

"This is on Erwin's orders," Levi said firmly.

He thought back about the moments where Hanji and he had walked to Erwin's office at the crack of dawn, convincing Erwin to make the changes.

* * *

 **Erwin, I suspect there is a betrayal in our Survey Corps, Levi had started, bringing in Erwin's full attention.**

 **Since everyone thinks I am the squad carrying Eren, we will definitely fail this expedition.**

 **What makes you think so, Erwin had asked, that we had a betrayal.**

 **The deaths of Bean and Sawney, Hanji said. Most likely, they are striking again.**

 **…** **, Erwin was quiet for a moment. Alright, we will put Eren in Hanji's squad but only the three of us should know.**

* * *

The sound of the horses broke his train of memories and he turned around. Hanji was there with her squad. She beamed, oblivious to the fact that they may die anything on an expedition. "Ya-hooooo~~ Eren! Come over!"

Eren was conflicted but Levi coldly stared at him and he flinched. He went with Hanji in the end and Hanji sent him on the way with her.

"To the Forest Of The Giant Tree," Levi said and despite his squad's silence, he knew they were disturbed and bothered.

He knew they were thinking that he thought that they were not capable of protecting Eren. But even if he had to shatter their pride as his squad he cannot afford to bring them to their deaths. This expedition itself was meaningless, only for soldiers to serve as food to titans.

Suddenly, there was a loud bang and he casted a look sideway, eyes widening slightly at the direction the smoke was coming from.

Sighting abnormal…

At Hanji's position.

"Shit," he mumbled. How the Female Titan knows about their position was beyond him. They did not leak it out that Eren was to-

"Heichou, please give us a command! They need help." Petra shouted, appalled. "Hanji and Eren…"

Levi gritted his teeth. He glanced down at his hands holding tight to the reins. What is this? Does he have to sacrifice Eren and Hanji? No, he can't possibly- but how about her?

"We will go over there. Rescue Eren and Hanji."

* * *

 **"Eren, the difference between your judgement and ours is something that arises from the gap in our experience. But not relying on something like that is just fine. Choose. Whether you should believe in yourself, or believe in the Survey Corps, myself included. I myself don't know... I never have. Whether I believed in my own abilities, or whether I believed in the decisions of my trusted comrades, in the end no one ever knew what the outcome would be. So I guess... you have to do your best to make a decision that you won't regret."**

* * *

He thought back about what he said to Eren before. This was wrong. He had to alter his sentence to make Eren fight the Female Titan. He did not have a choice. He will have to do the backups.

"Heichou!"Petra shouted from the right flank, her eyes darting wildly, desperate to end the merciless slaughtering of her fellow comrades.

Oluo was already getting out his sword.

Levi sighed mentally, exhausted all of the sudden. "Eren, would you choose to fight or choose to run?" He changed his wordings and realised it was a one-way answer for the brunette.

He watched as Eren bit his hand and a golden light emitted in the forest.

* * *

Petra knocked on the door, setting her hurricane lamp down as she got no replies. Concerned, she knocked again.

When she tried the third time and there was no reply, she resigned herself to leave.

When she heard something clashed down in a loud noise that made her flinched.

"Heichou?!" She raised her voice as she spun around and knocked on the door one more time; the urgency in her knock crystal clear.

Receiving no reply, she hurriedly pushed the door opened.

And saw him bent over the toilet bowl in his personal washroom.


	6. A Distant Reality

**Author's Note: Been so long since I last wrote. This chapter had been sitting half completed for more than 3 weeks, I believe. School had started for me a month ago, thus, I am so busy. I am majoring in Psychology now and I feel so stresssssssssed. Haha. *Sigh*. Anyways, I will try and update as fast as I can. Please bear with me. Just saw that SNK season 2 might be postponed till 2017? :( Guess we just have to continue showing our support! To you, I give you...**

* * *

 **The End of Time**

 **Chapter 6 - A Distant Reality**

* * *

"Heichou!"

The ginger hair Survey Corp's member gasped and stepped into the bathroom hurriedly. She bent down and reached forward to soothe his back as the man puked his gut out. She was concerned. He was hardly sick or anything during the years she was with him.

He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and reached forward weakly to flush the toilet but before he could, a nauseated feeling hit hard and he was helpless against himself.

""Heichou!" Petra pat his back and reached forward to touch his clammy forehead. Her hand, cool against his clammy forehead, was a warm welcome but he pushed her hand away roughly.

"Fuck off," he growled weakly. "You don't have to see this shit."

"What are you talking about? You are sick!" Petra protested unhappily. He always wanted to do things on his own, solve problems by himself and refuse help from others like he had the responsibility to shoulder all the blame on his own shoulders – like he would be a burden to people if he ask for any help.

Levi muttered something indecipherable and Petra sighed at how stubborn he is. He vomited two more times before he could flush the toilet and times and times again, he pushed away her hands that wanted to help him.

Finally, she stood up and reached forward to guide him slowly back to bed after he had rinsed his mouth and washed his hands.

"Petra, stop doing this. You don't have to…just let me rest," Levi flickered his dark eyes to her for a good minute, never straying from her features.

She felt a blush threatening to surface and she looked away hurriedly. "It is also my responsibility to take care of Heichou," she replied firmly. He was about to retort when he suddenly swayed dangerously on his feet.

And felt himself tilting to the floor.

A loud gasp from the ginger hair beauty was the last thing he heard before everything fade away.

* * *

 **Everything was shimmering. That was Levi's first thought when he opened his eyes. His surroundings were glowing, bathe in a radiant golden-silvery light. He got up and stared down and realised he was floating on nothing. It was déjà vu. He had seen this every single time he time-travelled.**

 **"** **Aniki!"**

 **He turned around and his eyes widened.**

 **Red hair tied in two pigtails. A cheerful smile on her face.**

 **Isabel.**

 **"** **Levi!"**

 **A dirty blonde hair good-looking guy materialised beside Isabel. He smiled at him. Levi stared at the two of them, noticing how the two were waving to him and beckoning him over.**

 **Before he knew it, his legs were making him move. From a jog to a run to a sprint. But no matter how he ran, it was like he could never reach them. They were there, unmoving but he could never reach them.**

 **Then, without warning, his legs slowed and he wanted to shout at them to move, urge them with an urgency never had he had before.**

 **But his legs refused to and with each passing moments, he watched helplessly as Isabel and Furlan turned their backs on him and walked away, disappearing.**

* * *

His eyes widened and he shot up into a sitting position. It was so swift that he felt the room spun and he had to lay down again.

"Heichou!" Petra exclaimed as a strong wave of relief crashed into her. He struggled to get up and Petra slowly eased him up. He did not protest against it. Petra did not know if it was a good thing or not. He sat still, without moving, his breath light. "Where am I?"

"On your bed. You collapsed and I had to call in Eld to get you up… Erwin and Hanji are reaching soon."

Levi swung his legs to the edge of the bed. "Don't make a fuss. I am fine."

"Heichou! You have a fever!" Petra placed a hand on his shoulder. "Please…!"

Levi was quiet. His dream was unsettling and he was extremely bothered by it. He glanced up to look at the ginger haired comrade standing beside him, looking at her with a very concerned glance. His mind flashbacked to their kiss together. To their moments on the balcony under the moon. He slipped his hands into his pocket. He already knew it was not there but … touching just the fabric of his pocket seemed to make the grief comes back ten folds.

He looked over Petra's shoulder to the window. "I will be fine. Tomorrow is the 57th Expedition. I can't afford to fall sick now."

He stood up. Another spell of dizziness casted itself over him but he suppressed it. He headed for the door and reached for the doorknob.

"Heichou!"

He widened his eyes as a hand grabbed his. Warm and small. It instantly calm him down. "Please…even if you are the Humanity's Strongest Soldier… please rest. How can you still move like this when you are running a temperature?" Petra's voice rose. "I…it is okay. You don't have to shoulder all the responsibilities to yourself…" Her voice broke.

Levi froze. Did he just made her cry? His mind screamed red alert. He was stilled for a minute before inwardly sighing. That girl would be the death of him…

He turned back and draped the Survey Corps' jacket over the chair and sat back down on bed. "Petra, can you call in Hanji for me?" He said and his voice sounded weary even to his own ears. The honey orbs Survey Corps' soldiers nodded quickly, her tears dried in her eyes and headed out to fetch the one person Levi must see.

* * *

A minute later, the door literally slammed opened and the hinge creaked in protest. It hit the wall violently. Standing by the shy of it was a tall ponytail woman. She ran a hand through her maroon locks. Her face was devoid of the usual impish look and the atmosphere around her was serious.

"Erwin was wondering if you would be able to go for the 57th Expedition tomorrow," Hanji said. "He was worried that you may not be able to."

"I am fine," Levi repeated, impatience showing in his voice. Hanji sighed and walked over to him before stopping in her track as Levi glared at her shoes. Hanji rolled her eyes and tugged them off before tossing them carelessly out of the room. This time, she stood by the carpet. "What's wrong, Levi?" She asked.

Levi looked up and sighed. He was almost sick of the same old explanations but he still pressed on.

"Hanji, I time-travelled again."

Hanji stared at him for a quiet moment before suddenly bursting into laughter. "Levi, are you alright?"

Levi just stared at her stonily until Hanji began to quieten down, realisation setting in.

"Levi…what you are saying…"

He sighed. "I have been explaining this to your alternative selves for numerous times. I am going through this cycle where I plunge into the nightmare of 57th Expedition. The night before, to be exact."

Hanji fell silent, listening to Levi's recount about the many times he tried and save his squad and their plans together. Which, ultimately, failed due to other reasons.

"The paper you gave me did not survive the trip."

Hanji looked up sharply. "So whatever you carry will not travel back with you? How about your memories? Do you have part of them removed?"

"No."

"Hmm…" Hanji glanced down. "You know…You can't save everyone."

Levi did not speak.

"The first time was because the Female Titan knew our abilities better than we know her. The second was because you have to save Eren…same as the third." Hanji paused then sighing, she continued.

"It is a God's gift that you are able to time travel. But you don't know if there is a limit. Or when it will be the last time. Every single time you time-travelled, it might be your last. The first thought that came into my mind when I realised you were not joking was to asked you if you could leap back to the time before titans appear and stop them. So, we could save Humanity." Hanji stopped, her voice becoming very wistful. "But, I wouldn't have met people that I now treasure. Of course…I am being selfish thinking as an individual. But how I perceive the world is not how Universe perceive it. I perceive my world as people I love. But Universe perceive it as humans all around us – people I disliked, people who I don't know, who I had never met."

Hanji fell silent, as though as debating if she wants to talk about it. The seconds stretches to minutes before she finally spoke again. "Our plans failed because Levi, you can't choose. You can't choose Humanity or your squad. Eren was Humanity's hope. I know you don't want to lose him as a human too but he was the symbolisation of Humanity. He had to be your first choice. No matter what. Because you are Humanity's strongest solider. And you can't save everyone either. You have to choose. Choose your world or choose the world." Hanji smiled but the smile was sad and melancholy. "Do you have someone you must save no matter what, Levi?"

Levi widened his eyes. Her face was immediately in his mind. Golden sunshine locks and warm melted caramel irises. Pale, delicate features. Slender frame.

Hanji flickered her eyes over to the shorter man's bed which was drenched in sweat. "Levi, how many times have you time travelled?"

"6 or 7 times. Maybe more." Levi said.

"…" Hanji continued staring at his bed. "Would you like to push back the 57th Expedition? You are a very important chess piece we need."

Levi raised his head. "No."

"We might be able to come out with better solutions and save your squad," Hanji reasoned. "Anyway, I am guessing the court will approve of it if we push it back a week or two since Erwin did ask for a few months. They will not be happy but we can't help it."

"What if I can't time travel because the timing is not correct?"

"…There is such a possibility too," Hanji pushed her spectacle up, casting reflection on it. "That is the risk. If we fail this time…"

"I will take the risk." Levi rose from the bed. "Where is Erwin?"

"I will go and talk to him," Hanji said, turning around to open the door. "Levi, I advise you to rest well. I will check on you again."

"Tch, you are annoying."

Hanji lifted her spectacles and smiled to herself, knowing that it was his way of grudgingly admitting his gratefulness. The squad leader swung opened the door and looked up as she saw the younger girl pacing outside the room. The ginger hair beauty sensed her presence and stopped pacing around, saluting her.

Hanji smiled. "Are you finding Levi?"

Petra flushed a rose red. "Not-not really…" She placed her hand on her chest. "I was just worried. The years I know Heichou, he had never fell so sick…"

Hanji nodded but remained silent. She glanced at Petra and then looked over her shoulder to the room. Perhaps Levi…?

"Hanji-san?"

Hanji snapped her thoughts back. "Ah…why don't you check on him? He seemed pretty weak to me too but luckily, it should not be contagious. However, I don't want to risk anything so you should stay only for a short while. Good night, Petra."

"Good night, Hanji-san!"

* * *

Levi laid on his bed as he listened to the exchange the two women had outside his room. He grimaced at the feel of his damp bedspread. Getting up and ignoring the protests of his head which throbbed painfully, he staggered toward his closet where he stored the bedspread neatly in the drawers.

A flash.

He froze. He glanced out of the window but it was not lightning.

Another flash.

Red hair and blonde hair.

Furlan…? Isabel….

They were standing in front of him. And then, another flash. And they were gone.

His head throbbed and pain stabbed him in his head. He gripped the nearest thing for support which was the closet but it shook under his weight and the hurricane lamp on top tumbled down. The sound of glass shattering travelled into Levi's ear but it was distant, almost like the volume of the television muted.

A stab of pain. Two stab.

Darkness.

* * *

He cracked his eyes opened and a shaft of bright golden light stabbed him in his pupils. Groaning, he swung his leg sideway and got up slowly. His head pounded and he winced at the pain. Had he fainted? He chased his foggy memories, his mind spooning back to where he had felt the headache and promptly knock out in his room, near the closet. He looked up and realized that the room was not his. The bed and closet were all in different places. However, the cleanliness and the bareness of the room rivalled his own.

He frowned. He had not known someone who was as clean as him. Eren could get things very clean but the problem is that the boy do not clean that much unless otherwise stated by Levi. He was about to stand up when the door flung opened. He looked up sharply.

And what was standing in front of him made him froze.

To say that he was shock would be an understatement. And, he thought he should not even be shock anymore after all those time-traveling and seeing his squad coming back alive again and again – like the undead.

But…

Standing at the archway of the door was a red hair young girl. The bright fiery red – corresponding her personality – was tied into two ponytails. Wearing the Survey Corps uniform, she was smiling cheerily at Levi. "Aniki!" She greeted him enthusiastically while he sat there staring at her with a frozen look on his face. A frozen look of surprise? Shock? Happiness?

"Aniki? Are you ok?" She tilted her head, her smile disappearing and replaced with a concern frown.

"Yeah," Levi nodded, disoriented.

"Farlan is waiting downstairs for us!" Isabel said and dancing into the room with unladylike yet at the same time graceful steps that only she could manage, she grabbed Levi and pulled him up with some effort from the bed.

Levi allowed him to be dragged because it was Isabel. It is, right? He was dragged in a daze to the kitchen where Furlan was. His pale brown hair was almost golden until the morning sunlight and his pale grey irises flickered to the said guy who was dragged over to the table.

"Yo," he said lightly. Levi had to force his eyes to pull away from the two of them.

"Hey, hey! Let's go out for some fun later, shall we? It is our off day. Anyway, we have to drag that Eren out too~~~" Isabel grinned. "Shouldn't we, Aniki?"

There was no response.

"Aniki..?"

"Levi?" Furlan cuts in. "Levi, are you alright?"

"Hmm…" Isabel moved forward to touch the black hair guy's forehead. "It is normal," she commented. She reached for the teapot and poured tea into his cup. "Ugh. No black tea anymore."

Levi stared at the tea. His mind was whirring. What is happening? What is this? A dream? Where is his squad? And why are Isabel and Furlan…?

"I am okay," Levi pushed his chair away as he got up. "I am just tired."

"It is no wonder," Furlan said. "Our training with Eren had been vigorous."

"…" Levi looked away, confused. "Where is Eren?"

"Still sleeping, I guess. Geez… it is already going into afternoon!" Isabel pouted.

"Let him be. He must be exhausted. Levi, you pushed him quite hard," Furlan said.

"I will go and get him," Levi said. "We are going to town, right?"

Furlan and Isabel exchanged a surprise look. Isabel broke into a delighted smile. "Yay!"

Levi allowed a ghost of a smile to linger on his lips but he turned away quickly and headed up. The castle used was exactly the same but he did not see his squad and Hanji who pestered them…and Isabel and Furlan just don't add up. Thrown into puzzlement, Levi went to Eren's room just to see the younger guy opening his door.

"Sir!" Turning and spying Levi, the brunette saluted his captain.

Levi nodded. "Eren, I got something to ask you."

"Yes?" Eren enquired, looking nervous.

"Do you know someone named Petra?" Levi asked.

"N…no?" Eren looked surprised. "Should I know?"

"No," Levi answered then he changed his tone to his usual one. "We are going out in the afternoon."

"Yes, sir!" Eren saluted again.

Back in his room, Levi sat at the edge of his bed and took in all the information. He felt like he was going to go insane. Where is she? Where? And where is his squad? And why are Isabel and Furlan…

He closed his eyes as his mind rewind the scene this morning. The three of them together were… happiness.

This was the happiness Petra was talking about when they were staring at the starry sky. He was contented with three of them together.

Reminded of the ginger haired girl, Levi felt a stab of anxiety. Where is she? As much as he was trying to keep his composure, when it comes to her…all rational thoughts tend to abandon him usually, even though really try to not show it.

He put his head in his hands, trying to piece his thoughts together. Eren said he had not known who Petra is. They were staying in the castle, still. Furlan mentioned about training Eren – that was before the 57th Expedition. Furthermore, they should not have a rest day after the 57th Expedition…

He grimaced. Question marks hovered in the air for him.

The door flung opened and Isabel popped her head in. "Let's go~"

Levi half-smiled as she closes the door. Only she could talk like this to him.

Her and…that girl.

"Furlan, look!" Isabel gasped as she dragged the pale brown hair guy to a woman's clothes shop. Eren browsed around another shop near the corner. Levi just looked bored. And he was bored. He looked around and something caught his eyes.

It was a shop selling tea leaves. He walked toward it and pulled opened the door. A bell tinkled, signalling his presence.

"Good afternoon to you!" An older lady beamed at him. He nodded but remained quiet and walk around the shop.

"Mrs Grey, do you need any help manning the shop?"

He froze for the second time that day.

That voice…he will notice it everywhere…

He turned.

And she was there.

Petra Ral.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading! Until next time!**


	7. Feelings of the two

**I know I am screwed for making you all wait so so so so long. I really don't want to throw an excuse in and think that I could get away from it. But I hope I will be able to get back on track once more. On a side note, Happy Chinese New Year to all those out there and hope this year will be a blessed one! I hope there are still Rivatra fans out there because I have not forgotten this pairing. To you, I give you...**

* * *

 **The End of Time**

 **Chapter 7: Feelings of the two**

* * *

There were voices.

Levi's first thought was "shut the fuck up, whoever you are." But he had two problems he had to deal with now. Firstly, he could not give the person a good bashing because he cannot see. Secondly, he was befuddled by why his entire sight was black and why he was suddenly transported to this darkness after seeing her.  
And a new problem was creeping in.

There was a fire burning in him. It was hot, uncomfortably hot. Like someone just shove him into a furnace.

The voices rose and the fire raged in him. He had been through injuries that would had made him die but this was unlike any other pain. Ice and fire shot through his vein. It was hot but it carries the sensation of being so cold that it hurts. It was a funny and uncomfortable feeling.  
This burning in him continues and continues until he lost count of time – until he just give up and drift in the painful darkness.

Then, just as quickly as he drifted in the agony, a sweet voice penetrated the darkness. A light cradled his sight. He blinked.

"Heichou…?"

The voice was so sweet, like the spring breeze, gently caressing your face with that sweet aroma in your nostril.

"Heichou, please wake up…"

The voice broke; an angel was crying. Levi want to reach up to comfort her, to take the angel's face in his hands and whisper gentle words to her. But he was not gentle; he had blood of his comrades stained on his hands; his voice was rough with the memories of death.

He tried moving his arms but it felt like lead. If he could now, he would had scowled at his incapability to do anything. But the mere movement of his body brought immense pain to him.

He stayed still for seconds that stretches to minutes that stretches to hours. Every ticking-tocking of the clock was spent in agony as he listened to the sweet and melodic sobbing.

"Heichou, please don't let anything happen to you….. I love you."

His heart suddenly skipped a beat. What was that? Did he mishear? It was impossible…

"I had always like you since I joined Survey Corps! I want to save Humanity but I want to do it by your side too…that's why I tried so hard to be in your squad too…"  
He thought about when she leaned down to kiss him indirectly on the sofa, when she was on the balcony with him, when she was crying and holding him back from leaving the room due to his fever.

It took his breath away.

The realisation of it took his breath away.

A hand touched his face. He could feel it. Soft against his face.

"Heichou…sorry…"

If he was awake now, he may experience a heart attack because he felt a pair of the softest lips meeting his.

It was a gentle kiss that carried the feel of her. Her lips were soft and just so kissable. He want to kiss back…

A shaft of light greeted his vision.

* * *

Petra opened her eyes as she pulled out from the kiss and glanced at the ground. What had she done? The impulse of doing it may just cause her position as a Survey Corps soldier. She looked at the man she just kissed and got a shock of life.

"KYAAA~~~" She gasped as she jerked backward causing the chair she was sitting on to tumble backward, sending her into a mess on the floor. Her backbone hurts from the fall and her fall had thrown the air out of her lungs. She stood up shakily as the man's dark irises followed her movements.

"Heichou…d-did y-you erm…erm did-you…did you…" she trailed off as she felt the heat emanating from her face. She gulped. There goes her position and her impression…

"Come here."

The command was made by a gruff and hoarse voice. She looked up timidly. "What?" That was not the reply she thought she would hear.

"Come over here," the command was impatient now.

Gingerly, she walked over to the bedside and gasped as an arm shot up from the blanket and wound itself around her slender waist. For the second time that day, the air was tossed out of her lung as she was pulled into a kiss.

Her chest was pressed onto his and his arm stayed circled around her waist as their lips tongues danced in a sexy tango. She still had her eyes wide opened with confusion. Levi stared back at her with unblinking eyes. And then, almost feeling a smirk against her own lips, he crashed his lips against hers harder. They were kissing so hard now that there was the sound of saliva exchanging.

"Mmmhmm…" Petra tried and pulled away as realisation settled in. She. Was. Kissing. Heichou. This must be a dream. She curled her hands into fists on his chest as the kiss continued. Then, almost abruptly, he pulled away. She panted as he stared at her. The strings of saliva connecting his mouth to hers was so erotica it sent shivers down her spine.

"That kind of hurts," he said, breaking the silence.

"Huh?" Petra glanced at him, still in a daze.

He made a mild gesture toward her lying on his chest. The kiss had basically moved her onto the bed and she was lying on top of him.

Gasping as she took note of it, she scrambled up and accidentally elbowed him in the chest. He winced.

"Shit, I am sorry! I am sorry!" She got up hastily and clumsily, swinging her legs to the bedside and her feet pressed against his crotch.

They froze.

"Argghhhh…" Petra was the first to break away and she basically scrabbled to the corner of the room, far away from Levi. Her hair was dishevelled and her face was so red it puts the word "red" to shame. Covering her face in mortification, she blabbered a lame excuse and rushed out of the room.

Levi watched her went, slipping out and forgetting to close the door and having to come back in the next few seconds to close it. His lips curled in amusement. He looked up to the ceiling. What had he been doing? His smile slipped away from his face as everything came crashing back. Reality came crashing back like a bitch.  
There was a sharp knock on the door and Levi turned his head slightly, cringing inwardly at the cracking of his neck. His hand had hurt from the hurried movement of grabbing Petra earlier on. His chest was still protesting in pain from where she had accidentally elbowed him and his crotch…

"Levi, you are conscious," Erwin's deep voice drifted into his ears.

He made no attempt to answer the blonde hair man but the latter walked forward to greet him by the bed. "We are postponing the expedition," the blonde hair man continued but from years of knowing him, Levi could sense the reluctance in his voice. "We shouldn't risk it with you feeling unwell. The room you were in had burned down so we moved you here…"

Levi half listened to Erwin's monologue as his mind flashed back to the lamp he knocked over. The oil must had fanned the flame.

Erwin stopped. "Levi, are you okay? I heard Hanji said you already had a plan to shift the expedition backward."

Levi was quiet. "Erwin, we may had neglected something that may make the expedition fail."

Erwin looked up sharply as though somebody had slapped him. "What?"

"Bean and Sawney are something that we may have to look more into before starting this expedition again," Levi said and his voice cracked. He cleared his throat but ended up into a violet fit of cough.

Erwin snapped out of it and his eyes softened slightly. "I will get the doctor here again if you are still not feeling well. It may spread – the illness, especially in our town where viruses are going around. We have to quarantine you for a few days. What you talked about…I will discuss again with Hanji. Rest well."

Levi watched as the blonde hair man left and he sighed as he tossed around on his bed, rolling his eyes inwardly as his bones cracked painfully. But it was a pain he could manage. The door opened and he did not bother turning around.

"I am quarantined," Levi said. He was grumpier now as worries came pouring in again. He still had to think about how to save his squad, what his dream was about and the kiss…

"Don't be silly, Levi."  
It was Hanji and Levi mentally groaned. This woman would be the death of him.

"Erwin thought it was an illness because I covered it up. Truth is probably you time-travelled too much."

This had Levi turned around on his bed to face her. "What?"

"Hoho, I finally got your attention," Hanji chuckled evilly and Levi ignored it. "When you were unconscious, I did some research. Time-travelling occurred to someone before though it had never been confirmed. This said person claimed that he travelled from the era where titans do not exist in the year 548, long before we were born and long before any history was recorded. From what we know, about 100 plus years ago titans started appearing so if he was in the year 548, titans wouldn't have existed. He said the place was a total different place and people roamed the world freely. He said he return back to the year 548 every time he was eaten alive by titans. Sounds familiar? It is parallel to what you did. Except that he returned by dying and what you returned by was…still uncertain. He said he tried and understood titans and the concept of titans and the humans in the year 548. However, his journal only continued for one book and two entries before he wrote that he was falling ill and he could not figure out how to stop this "illness" and he saw flashes of another world. A parallel world. He said the world was clear of titans, of the nightmare he was facing. He stopped there…"

Hanji trailed off. "Levi, are you listening?"

The shorter guy's mind was in a race. Another world. A parallel world. He wrote that titans – his biggest nightmare when time-travelling – was gone. Was this like him too? What was his biggest nightmare when time-travelling? Saving the squad…no, no. Saving her. Her. It is her. The shock ran through him like somebody plugged a charger into him. He went cold and hot at the same time. A chain of sweat slipped down his neck and he fought a shiver despite a ray of warm sunshine beating down his back.

What he saw was a parallel world. A place where he could be in, just like that unknown time-traveller. It was truly a God's gift.

* * *

"Petra," Eld was greeting the honey coloured hair owner as she dashed past him without responding. He stared at her quizzically.

She kissed Levi. No. No. She kissed Heichou. She kissed Heichou. She kissed him. She kissed him.

Her mind was going on a sensory overload. She grabbed her toiletries and headed for the shower. Breathing a sigh of relief, she pushed opened the door and hit the warm water. Warm water was a blessing for the Survey Corps and she took the time to relish in it. She breathed in and out, until she could even her breath. What was she thinking?

This is not right!

How could she allow her feelings to get the better of her? She needs to apologise to Heichou soon. Petra sighed. Maybe not today... she cannot imagine facing the black hair guy so soon. She ran a hand through her hair and stepped out of the shower after drying herself.

She crashed right into Hanji in the corridor back to her room.

"Ah, Petra!" The cheerful spectacle woman greeted.

"Hanji-san!"

"Petra, I have a favour to ask from you," Hanji continued.

"Of course! I am ready to serve!" Petra asked and made a quick salute.

Hanji laughed. "No need to be so formal. I just want you to stay in Levi's room for these few nights. He is not feeling well and I know it was under clear instructions that Levi has to be left alone...but something may be up with him. Plus he is too stubborn to call for help..." Hanji added. Then, without a beat, or rather without waiting for Petra to reply, she strolled off. "Thanks!" She called back, leaving the ginger hair girl to stone.

"Me...In Levi's room...alone..." Petra stuttered. She felt her world tilting and she had to lean against the wall. Flashes of the kiss occured in her mind and her heart hiccuped. Not like this...


	8. Vacillate

**Author's Note: It has truly been such a long time since I posted anything on my account. Still, I actually have this chapter in my docs for the longest time. I found joy in writing and I hope you would enjoy my writing too. I am on holiday right now so hopefully, I will be more active. Happy Chinese New Year to you all!**

 **Extra note: Edited on 28/07/2018 for some mistakes.**

* * *

 **The End of Time**

 **Chapter 8 - Vacillate**

* * *

The door creaked opened.

"Tch, Hanji. I said I am qurantined," Levi snapped but ended up in a heap of coughs.

"Heichou..." Petra rushed over and fussed over him.

Levi looked up. He inwardly sighed. He saw what Hanji did there. "I am fine," he brushed her off.

The light ginger haired girl frowned but otherwise ignored his words and continued fussing over him. Her warm caramel irises darted over him frantically.

After a minute or so, Levi's coughs subsided and he leaned back and closed his eyes. He could feel Petra glancing at him. But he remained stilled.

"Erm...Heichou! I will brew some herbal tea," Petra suggested hastily, breaking the silence. "I learned how to do it before I joined Survey Corps."

Levi was reminded of his conversation with her another self. She was supposed to be happy and contented as the wife of a man who will run a tea shop handed down by his mother - not trapped in this filthy gruesome job boiling tea for her grumpy higher-up.

Perhaps, in another world this was happening, a tiny voice pipped into his thoughts. A flash of Petra welcoming him in the tea shop came to his mind. He pushed it away swiftly. He did not want to think of that dream that seemed so real, it was like reality.

Levi opened his eyes, in time to see Petra heading for the door. Before she was out of his reach, his hand shot up and caught her wrist. "Stay," he said.

It was like deja vu all over again. At the balcony. With her. In another world. Where she does not even remember, a voice reminded him. An air of melancholy threatened to surround him. He was quick to escape. No more of being in doldrums for years after Isabel and Furlan's deaths.

"..." Petra avoided his gaze and glanced down at his hand. Something felt familiar. She blinked hard, trying to find the feeling but it was gone.

"Heichou..." Petra trailed off.

Levi slides out of bed, feeling a heaviness in him. The blanket slipped off his body and he felt vulnerable for just a fleeting moment, as though as he was as naked as the day he was born. A spell of dizziness casted over him but he suppressed it. His grasp on her wrist was firmed but not painful. He bent down and pressed his forehead against their connected warmth. He felt her soft flesh against his forehead. Her skin was soft and smelled of soap.

To say Petra was surprised was an understatement. Her skin flushed as red fingers crawled onto her skin, reminding Levi of a rosy apple. Translucent skin, honey ginger locks, caramel orbs...

Where is he going to find these again?

Where is he going to find these again if she did not exist anymore?

* * *

His existence was a great impact on Petra. From gasping in awe to admiration to a feeling to a blooming crush, the steps were all memorable to Petra. That's why seeing him so vulnerable, so exposed pained her. She never see him being so low before. She reached out but paused. "Heichou. Is there something bothering you?" Petra asked, worried.

Levi mumbled something incoherently and everything went black.

* * *

...

...

...

...

...

"Sir, that is a great choice," the soft feminine voice reached his ears like a nostalgia melody from childhood. "Do you like black tea?" The voice continued.

He nodded and glanced up from the tea leaves.

Hair swept back into a low ponytail, her features were accented by a touch of makeup. Her ginger mane was darker in colour, probably because she was not exposed to the hot sun due to expedition or training. It was longer too, Levi noted. Her tresses reached her mid-back and she wore a plain dress. It was a Petra Levi thought he would never see.

Or was it really Petra? He second thought himself.

"Sir?" She raised her tone.

"Ah...yes, yes," Levi snapped out of his trance and nodded.

"I can give it to you if you want to buy," the girl continued.

"No, that would be fine. I can get it," Levi said.

"Oh no..." the girl shook her head. "You are a Survey Corps soldier who is risking his life to save us from titans beyond the Wall...take this as a gratitude," the girl smiled warmly as her eyes stayed on his jacket. The smile was so familiar, it made Levi's heart ache.

"I always want to be a Survey Corps soldier," she continued and then break off as though as she was embarrassed by being too carried away. "Oh...anyways, the shop owner is my fiancé's mother. She, too, is proud of the Survey Corps. She would be happy to give it to you."

"Thank you," Levi nodded, accepting the tea leaves gratefully for tea leaves are scared resources.

The bell tinkled and another customer came into the shop. The long hair girl flitted over. Levi continued staring at her. Everything about her reminds him of Petra. Is this a dream?

"Petra!"

The old lady at the counter hollered and Levi felt everything dimmed and tilt backward.

* * *

"Heichou!"

Her voice gained volume slowly but surely into his ears. He let out a low groan and opened his eyes.

His irises met honey orbs.

Petra's face was in his sight. He almost stopped breathing as her honey warm orbs pierced his soul and her caramel locks framed her face.

He realised he was lying his head on her laps and they were on the floor. His hand draped over his forehead. "How long was I out?"

"A few hours," Petra replied slowly, her eyes still wide with fear. Levi felt a stab of guilt before realisation sank in. She had sat on the floor with his head on her laps for a few hours. Her laps must be numb...

He blinked and raised his hand to touch her cheeks. Petra's breath caught in her throat as her gaze stayed fixated on the man's hand.

A loud sound disrupted the moment. Levi withdrew his hand, a scowl twisting his handsome features. Petra turned her gaze toward the door.

Hanji.

The tall woman stood at the doorway, her eyes wide and excited until she landed her gaze on the honey coloured hair lady and the grumpy man who was shooting her a look that could kill.

She ignored it.

"We have been approved to delay the expenditure!" Hanji announced bubbly. "Oh, and Levi!"

Levi thought she should just shut up already.

"I need to talk to you," Hanji's voice turned serious.

"Hanji-san!" Petra cut in and both her commanders stared at her. "Erm...I know this is rude but," the ginger haired girl flushed and she nervously fidgeted, "Can we let Levi rest first? Please!" Petra pleaded and Hanji's features softened despite her reluctance. Who could reject the sincerity in her voice?

"Alright. Later then," Hanji held back a sigh. Then, washing away all her seriousness, she smiled cheerily. "Levi, it must be nice to have a subordinate acting like a wife and fussing over you!"

Hanji watched in amusement as Levi started scowling and the poor girl was red down to her feet probably. "If Petra doesn't mind, can Petra please stay in this room to take care of Levi? I have to go back to my squad and the ride is at least 20 minutes. I am not that free to move back and forth. Not to be sexist, Petra, but your squad members are way off the mark to take care of Levi," Hanji shook her head. "Take care of him well, Petra. It may get more serious."

Something in her tone made Levi glanced out questioningly but the four eyes freak avoided his gaze. She was gone before he could open his mouth.

Petra broke the silence. "Erm...Heichou...do you want to rest on the bed? It will probably be more comfortable than here…" She flushed.

"Is it uncomfortable for you?" Levi asked.

"Eh…?" Petra widened her eyes, clearly taken aback by the question. "No…not at all."

"Hmph. Then, it is alright, isn't it?" Levi replied.

"What is?" Petra asked, puzzled.

"Staying like this," Levi said.

"Eh?!" Petra blushed.

Levi was amused by her shyness. He closed his eyes as weariness fell over him again. There was something wrong with him. He usually slept less than 2 hours and could still function well but he was just drifting in and out of sleep…

A soft caress suddenly of his hair made him flinched and the hand stilled.

"Ah! Sorry," Petra apologised hastily. "I just thought…"

"It is fine," Levi cuts in. "…It feels nice," he added gruffly as though being grumpy would mask his embarrassment.

Petra smiled and reached down again stroked his hair. The air was still and peaceful. A feeling of transcendence seemed to be bestowed upon Levi. "Petra, what would you be if you are not a soldier?"

Petra startled, not expecting Levi to ask a question or initiate a conversation. She looked down, contemplating his question. "Maybe marry a man who I love and bear his children. I want to live in a cottage with honeysuckle, baby's breath, freesia and roses surrounding it. I want to wake up every morning in the embrace of the person I love and prepare breakfast for him before sending him off for work…" Petra trailed off and reddened. She was carried away. "I am contented with my style of life now too," Petra said quickly.

"Are you?" Levi suddenly turned to look at her.

Honey orbs clashed with steel grey.

Petra's breath caught in her throat. "Heichou, are you alright?"

Levi considered her question. He was being uncharacteristically sentimental. He sighed. "Petra."

"Yes, heichou?" Petra said, her voice changing from a woman's to a soldier's.

"I am going to rest a bit," Levi said. Using all his energy, he hoisted himself up and had to fling himself on the bed inelegantly. He turned away from the caramel locks' girl. "Thank you," he muttered.

Petra half-smiled at the soft phrase her heichou mumbled. She stood up, stretching and winced when her joints cracked. Slightly numbed from supporting his head for so long but not wanting Levi to know, Petra speedily hobbled out of the room to get a glass of water for him.

Levi sighed and shut his eyes. His thoughts wondered to Petra's words. Sadness and guilt rippled in him like the ripples caused by a pebble skittering over the surface of a water body. Incessantly. Until the pebble sank deep into the water, just like his feelings.

He let the sadness and guilt devoured him until an uneasy sleep found him.

* * *

"Aniki, what is that you got?!" Isabel, voice as loud and cheery as ever, exclaimed. Her voice cut through the bustling and boisterous crowd in the town square. It seemed that there was some festival, Levi pondered.

"Tea leave," he answered as he spied Furlan and Eren walking side by side toward them. The older man was laughing and the younger one seemed fascinated.

"Oh! The tea leaves is of high quality," Isabel commented, peering at the packet Levi was holding. "Must have cost a small fortune since it was from the shop around the corner," Isabel added. Levi was going to ask more about the shop when Furlan and Eren reached them.

"Oh, there is some sort of festival," Furlan said.

"Oh, really?" Isabel replied excitedly. As someone from the underground, it was hard to ever observe a festival, much less participate. "We do have the day off…maybe we can stay here till evening?" Isabel asked slowly as she turned her head toward Levi. She glanced at Levi meaningfully.

Levi inwardly sighed. "We could spare another few hours…"

He could never say no to Isabel. Just like how he could never say no to the ginger haired girl….

In this world, he never knew his squad. He figured out it was because Isabel and Furlan were still alive and as such, there was no need to form a group. His thoughts whirled back to the time at the balcony with Petra. He said it was happiness with Isabel and Furlan. It still was. Just that…

Something was amiss. He felt that a part of him was absent and that the gaping hole was eating him away. He briefly wondered what it was before Isabel interrupted his thoughts.

"Aniki! This is the Festival of Love! It is February 14th! Isabel said, her eyes glowing with excitement.

Levi raised an eyebrow. He did not know the meaning of love and found festivals useless. But he restrained himself from saying it. Instead, he nodded.

"Eren! Aren't you with Mikasa? Geez… we should have asked her too…oh, but you are on probation with us…" Isabel sighed sadly.

"W-wha-what are-are…yo-you say-saying?!" Eren shouted bashfully. His face was red.

Furlan laughed and patted the brown hair young man.

Levi watched their exchanges silently but a flash of ginger ponytail caught his peripheral vision.

"!"

"Aniki?" Isabel asked, startled as the raven hair man parted from them rather abruptly. He pushed through the crowd, ignoring the grunts and annoyed grimaces from the displeased people who were shoved by him.

Levi's eyes darted and scanned the crowd. He had lost her. That was when he caught himself. What was he doing…?

In this world, they had nothing with each other. They were strangers. She was living in the life she had wanted. Peaceful. Tranquil. Away from the filth and blood. What was he doing? Was he trying to destroy this peace?

He had his own happiness too…didn't he? Isabel and Furlan were here. This reality should be what he wanted. In the first place, the reality he wanted – which were with Isabel and Furlan – shouldn't include her.

In this reality, she wasn't his.

He realised he had gotten so used to her presence. He had gotten used to her pouring tea for her; her ginger locks in a short bob and her kind eyes brightening every time she saw him; her warm and cheery voice; her touches…

The absence of her presence was like a slap to his face.

He thought he had always walk the path of loneliness as Humanity's Strongest Soldier. But he didn't. She was always by his side; she was always extending her hand toward him, waiting. And at some point of time, he had reached out too. He had accepted that hand of hers.

His thoughts spooned back to the moment Hanji talked to him about a parallel world. The man… he momentarily wondered if he had a dilemma like him. Choosing between the reality that was painful and the reality that was much more pleasurable.

No, Levi almost smiled wryly to himself. No human would pick pain over pleasure. It would be insanity.

Then…was he crossing the line of sanity?

"Levi, you were walking away from us so fast," Furlan said, breaking through his train of thoughts.

The brunette man smiled. However, Levi could see the concerns reflected in Furlan's irises. Behind Furlan were Isabel and Eren, bickering over which booth they should visit first. Eren wanted to visit a booth that sells hero books and figurines but Isabel wanted to visit a booth that sells flower.

"Now, now, we can go to both," Furlan intervened quickly before it turned into a fight.

"Alright. But it has to be mine first," Isabel decided, grinning.

Eren scowled.

"Levi? Come on," Furlan smiled.

Levi glanced back at the direction he lost the ginger haired girl and turned back to look at the trio.

At that point of time, Levi realised the dilemma God had given him.

* * *

"Levi," a voice pierced through his unconscious.

His eyes flitted opened and he was greeted with a scary-looking face peering at him.

Irritation bit. Using his right hand and his remaining strength, he pushed Hanji's face right out of his sight. The tall ponytail woman stumbled and adjusted her spectacles.

"That was so cold!" Hanji whined and pouted.

Levi ignored her and sat up. "What do you want?" His voice was hoarse. He tried clearing his throat but went into a fit of cough. Hanji was quiet.

"Where is Petra?" Levi asked after his cough subsided.

"I sent her, along with your squad and Eren, out for grocery shopping," Hanji replied.

"They aren't your slave," Levi retorted.

"Well…I have to send them out because I want to discuss with you something," Hanji said thoughtfully. She was silent after that.

"Speak," Levi commanded gruffly. His voice was still coated with sleepiness.

"Did you dream of something?" Hanji asked slowly, as though as picking the wrong word would send her down to Hell.

Levi looked up sharply, all trace of sleep gone. His eyes flashed but his face was emotionless as usual. "It was a long dream," he remarked shortly.

Hanji regarded him quietly. "I see," she finally answered. "You do know that your situation is similar to the man I read and research, don't you?"

Levi did not respond but did not voice his opinion either.

"To be honest, I am not sure how it will work. But I do know that you have to choose your dream or this reality…" Hanji stopped abruptly. "No, both are realities, or at least that was what the man had written on his book," she corrected herself. At this point, Hanji sounded like she was talking to herself. "That is to mean you got to choose one of the realities…and then I wonder how it will work if you choose? Would you still stay in this world or will your existence be erased? Would you be replaced by a different Levi?"

"Oi, four-eyed freak," Levi interrupted her monologue. "If we are not holding a conversation, it is either you get out of the room, or I will," he said stonily.

Hanji suppressed an annoyed sigh. "Levi, after some thinking, I think the reason why you are sick is because you keep time-travelling. That would be the only reason. I calculated and if you are already this sick when you travelled 6 to 7 times…" Hanji's voice faded.

"What?" Levi demanded. He hated people leaving their sentences uncompleted.

"Levi, you are probably using your life in exchange for time-travelling," Hanji said quietly.

The silent after the last word left her mouth was deafening.

"How many times more?" Levi spoke, breaking the silence.

"What?"

"Do you know how many times more I can travel?"

"Maybe 2 to 3 more?" Hanji estimated. She frowned. "I am not sure, Levi. It is the best to find out what it is causing you to time travel now and avoid that intangible or tangible object. Don't risk it, Levi," Hanji's voice turned softer and more serious.

Levi did not reply.

"I am not sure about the dream. I need to search more but it could be due to the effect of time-travelling. You change numerous things in all different timeline, butterfly effects would have occurred. But for now, it didn't. This could be because it is the past, not the future that you travelled back to. Even so… you are playing with something dangerous, Levi. Things happen through small and sequential chain of events; by changing one thing or another, everything is affected. The things that you did could have upset the universe and as a result, created parallel worlds. Perhaps it was because you were the one who created it, you could move through both realities – there and here. But I believe eventually you got to choose," Hanji said quietly.

"Levi-"Hanji started.

"Oh! Hanji-san is still here," Eld said, his voice travelling up the stairs. "Her horse and shoes are still here."

"Luckily I bought enough drinks for everyone," Oluo boasted.

"You know it is Petra who bought them," Gunther replied, laughing.

Hanji's eyes softened. "Who do you want to protect?"

The trees rustled at that moment.

* * *

 **Really happy that my writer's block is out. Till next time!**


	9. Foreigner

**Author's note: Okay, I feel really bad. It is already summer and I am still stuck at Valentine's for this story. I am not sure how the weather works in SNK so just assume it works differently and their Feb is not as cold as ours. Again, thanks for the love for this story! Who is excited for Season 3?! I am!**

 **Extra note: Edited on 28/07/2018 for some minor mistakes.**

* * *

 **The End of Time**

 **Chapter 9 - Foreigner**

* * *

Isabel stared at the fire dancing in the wind. Couples whirled around the bon fire, their shadows casted over the town square. Merry chatters filled the atmosphere and the aroma of roasted chicken lingered in the air.

"Aniki! Let's dance! Furlan said you wanted to when I asked him just now!" Exclaiming, she spun around to face Humanity Strongest Soldier.

Levi would usually make exceptions to Isabel, but this request was too ridiculous. He made a quick mental note to make Furlan pay the next time he saw him. "No."

"Awww…come on~~" Isabel whined.

"Eren would love to," Levi said.

"Really?" Isabel confirmed.

"Really," Levi repeated. Almost smirking, Levi watched as Isabel swooped on her prey – Eren was bargaining with a stall owner – who knew nothing about the misfortune that would descend upon him.

Hastily, Levi made an escape before Isabel could pester him again. He walked slowly, merging in with the crowd and trying to be nondescript.

But he was in Survey Corp's uniform and nothing was featureless about the creamy brown uniforms carrying the burdens of humanity. Eyes followed him whenever he went and soon, his irritation grew. Spying a small shop tucked in a corner, he entered it.

It was a café.

Brightly lit with the fragrance of coffee and tea, it was acceptably empty at this time since everyone was at the town square and pubs. Only a lone figure sat at the far end, reading a book and nursing a pot of tea. As though as sensing someone, the person lowered the book and peeked up.

The honey amber irises he grew so familiar with regarded him with a new light. The owner broke into a smile.

"Good evening, we met again."

Her voice was sweet and unbearably familiar. "I would have thought a Survey Corps soldier would be back to his duty now."

There was no hint of sarcasm or unkindness in her voice – perhaps teasingly – but Levi was taken aback that she spoke to him so openly.

Then, he realised this wasn't the Petra he knew.

"We have days off," he answered gruffly. He did not want to but his voice always sounded so grumpy and angry. People always get annoyed or irritated afterward and decided not to talk to him, especially during the parties in Wall Sina.

"I see. That is lucky. Today is the Festival of Love." She seemed unaffected by his rude tone. "I am waiting for my fiancé; he is talking to the boss of this café at the back of the store to use our tea leaves. Would you like to join me?"

Something told Levi he shouldn't because she was an attached woman but he suppressed that thought and went along with it. Just a little bit, he thought. He wanted to indulge himself with the Petra he never knew.

Petra smiled as he drew distance with her and pulled out the chair opposite her. Almost immediately, Petra stood up and Levi raised an eyebrow. She went and fetched a cup at the counter.

"Self-service," she replied impishly. It was a tone Levi never heard from her before.

"I suppose black tea is alright since you were finding them at our store," she explained as she slides the cup to him.

He accepted it quietly and sipped it, peering over the rim. She looked so dainty in flowing long locks. She brushed a stray lock out of her eyes and Levi noticed her fingernails were trimmed nicely without the usual grim and dirt she had underneath.

"You have a particular way of drinking," she commented suddenly.

Levi allowed a wry smile. "Many people said that to me."

"Why are you not at the festival? It has a good atmosphere," Petra asked curiously.

"I hate crowd," Levi replied bluntly.

Petra widened her eyes. "Really? I love the vibrant surroundings, though."

Levi almost said "I know". "Then, why not go out and enjoy yourself?"

"I am waiting for my fiancé. It is the Festival of Love, after all," she giggled. "How about you?"

Levi felt a pang in his heart but he pushed it away. "What about me?"

"Any girlfriends?"

"No."

"Hmm…what a pity. You look pretty decent," she remarked. Levi almost spit his tea. He had to constantly remind himself this was not the Petra he knew.

"How about a girl you like?" She prompted.

Levi put down his cup.

"Hm? Seems like there is one," Petra said, interested. She leaned forward. "Would she be in the Survey Corps too?"

"A subordinate." As soon as the words left his mouth, he mentally slapped himself. What did he just say? Levi was not someone who opened up to people but it seemed that Petra had that effect on him. Even this Petra from another world.

"Ohhhh," Petra's lips curled. "Why are you not bringing her to the festival? Does she still have her duty? Festival of Love is the best time to confess to someone."

Levi stared silently at the ginger haired girl opposite him. He drank in her features. Her skin was milky white and flawless – a contrast from the Petra he knew who were covered with battle scars; her dress was feminine and clean – a contrast from the Petra whose uniform was muddy after training; her hair was silky at first glance – a contrast from the Petra whose hair was constantly in a damaged condition.

Was he going to admit it was her? Her from the other world? Would she believe?

Love and confession are heavy words. It wasn't suitable for a filth like him. "She probably isn't interested," he said.

Petra's smile slipped her face. "Oh…I am so sorry…" she started but Levi brushed it off.

"She is probably in a better world. Our world is pretty painful. I don't think we would have belong in the same world anyways."

Petra raised her cup of tea and sipped. She wrinkled her nose and quickly put the cup down. Her eyes darted forward.

Before she could spy the packets of sugar, the raven hair man had slides them toward her. Two to be exact. The numbers she needed.

She blinked. "How do you…?"

"People usually take those amount," he shrugged, lying easily. She needed at least two packets of sugar for both coffee and tea.

She smiled a thank you and began pouring in the sugar. "Except for you," she pointed out, glancing at his black tea without sugar packets ripped open beside it.

"This is just right," Levi said.

"Coffee without milk and sugar too?" Petra guessed.

Levi nodded, amused by the conversation. He watched as the lady stirred her tea, looking thoughtful. She suddenly looked up.

"You know, you can't just assume she doesn't belong in the same world as you."

"Pardon?" Levi frowned.

"Just because you think that she is from a different world from you, that you are too different from her, doesn't mean she thinks so."

Levi inwardly flinched a little. Her words struck hard.

Petra smiled a little. "I see I am knocking some sense into you."

Levi grunted, not in agreement but not in disagreement either. She laughed, her voice eerily familiar. She took a sip of her tea again. "Did I ever introduce myself?" She startled.

Levi watched in amusement as she flushed in embarrassment. "I am Petra, Petral Ral," she smiled and extended her fair hand. "You are?"

"Levi," he answered shortly. He peered at the hand, still extended, still offering an unwavering promise of a friendship. He suppressed a sigh. And reached out.

* * *

Levi was bored.

Actually, never mind. Bored was an understatement.

He had been stuck in this goddamn room for the past three days. Other than dreaming of the life far from here, he really had nothing much to do in this reality. He cleaned his room 43 times – yes, he counted – and the room was almost gleaming.

Yes, Levi was certainly bored to death.

Stifling a sigh, he looked out of the window. Almost automatically, his thoughts drifted to what Hanji said. He never managed to answer her because they were interrupted by his squad who were being loud and rowdy. He wondered what his answer would be.

A sharp knock invaded his pondering.

"Come in," Levi said. He immediately knew who she was. Petra.

She had stayed in his room for long periods, occasionally talking about random things that happened that day and occasionally she did stay in one corner quietly. He believed Hanji had something to do with this. Nevertheless, he kept quiet about it. In some ways, he actually enjoyed her presence. At first, he was uncomfortable and wanted to ask her to leave but reminded himself she probably did it because it was an order from Hanji.

Slowly, he grew accustomed to her presence.

The ginger hair's owner approached him and sat beside a chair. "Heichou, there is a festival today."

Levi looked at her but did not speak.

Encouraged, Petra continued. "It is the Festival of Love," she said.

"Hm. You should go," Levi said. Festival of Love? Wasn't that from his dream…?

"Eh?" Petra looked surprise. "No…there isn't anyone I can go with. Everyone is out."

"There are still some days to expenditure. With me stuck here, training will only resume next week or something," he scowled at his own bitter words.

Petra fidgeted uncomfortably and Levi observed her small movements. Hand in her ginger hair, twisting a strand, eyes darting around, and feet tapping on the legs of the chair. She was nervous. A flicker of surprise crossed his system. Was he really so accustomed to her?

"Spit it out, Petra," he sighed, rubbing his face with his hand wearily.

"Eh? What?" Her honey irises widened.

"You want to say something, don't you?"

"I-" Petra stalled. From the corner of her eyes, she could see Levi's face scrunching up into an impatient frown. "IwanttoaskyououttotheFestivalofLove!" She blurted out the sentence so hastily, the words tripped over each other clumsily, rendering what she had said incomprehensive.

Levi raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Nothing!" Petra stood up and Levi could see the conflicts, hurt and disappointment in her eyes. "I-I am going to boil some tea!" Hurriedly, she left the room.

He glanced at the tray of tea that she brought in earlier still on the dresser untouched.

* * *

By late afternoon, Petra was still not back and Levi had resumed his cleaning. He felt better now – the dizzy spell had been gone for a few days.

"Really, Levi. I need you to check if you have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder."

He glanced up from cleaning the cabinet. He scowled. "Unlike you, I just want my room clean.

Hanji laughed and shook her head. "I asked Erwin if you could come out from this hellhole. He agreed. Go and have fun, little man."

Levi glared daggers at her for her nickname but otherwise bit back his retort. He was too glad to be able to leave this damn room.

"And, I think you can bring Petra out," Hanji's lips curled.

"What is with that look?" Levi frowned.

The tall woman sighed, her hand raking her hair. "Levi, what I mean is to bring Petra to the Festival. She had been taking care of you and was cope up in this place."

Levi swallowed back the comment that Hanji was the one who asked her to stay. Instead, he stiffly nodded. He felt guilty about it too. Hanji smiled a little too sweetly and reached into her pocket.

"In case you time-travel, tell me if this thing survive," she said, pulling out a shiny packet. She tossed it in Levi's direction and he caught it deftly.

"We already established that before and I don't think I will-"

He looked down. Hanji left.

A contraception.

At that moment, he swear the next time he saw the four eyes shitty pervert, he would hack her into two for mocking him.

* * *

He showered briefly before proceeding to wear his outfit. He wore his plain white shirt and black suit and dress shoes. After he was done, he went down the stairs to find the ginger hair girl. She was easily spotted due to her fiery hair colour. The house was quiet. She was dusting the living room absentmindedly.

"Petra."

She flinched and Levi could see her back hunched up in alarm. A battle stance. Levi scowled. He was not a titan – his height would definitely attest to that. Irritated by his own thought of his height, he quickly brushed it off.

"Yes, heichou?" She turned around, not quite meeting his eyes. Neither of them spoke for a moment, wrapped up in their thoughts. Petra wondered briefly if Hanji had said something to him so that he could leave his room. She flushed. That room honestly brought back too many memories. The kiss, his head on her lap, his scent…

Stop, Petra chided herself. You are being a pervert.

"Petra, where are the others?" Levi broke the silence.

"Erm… Eld went with his fiancée to the festival; Eren was given permission by Erwin personally to be able to visit his friends for the festival; Oluo and Gunther went to the local bar to pick up girls I suppose," she frowned at that but otherwise made no other comment.

Levi's lips almost curled in amusement at her last statement. "Shall we get going?"

"Huh?" Petra looked at him, puzzled.

"To the festival. You asked me that just now, didn't you?" Levi raised an eyebrow. He almost allow a smile to play at his lips – almost – when he saw her turned red down to her roots.

"Erm… yes, sure, yes. Erm… wait, now?" Petra snapped her head up in horror.

Levi nodded wordlessly.

"Oh! Just- wait, just ten minutes. I mean, five. I mean, two," she blabbered as she started moving to put the household equipment back. She almost tripped on her way to the staircase.

"Petra, take your time," Levi cuts in, making her freeze at her spot. "You are giving me a headache moving around so fast."

"So sorry!" Petra said, flustered. Tucking her hair behind her ear, she quickly ran toward the staircase, back to her room. Before coming back in a flash.

Levi looked at her questioningly.

"Erm…am I allow a shower first?"

Levi almost toppled over. "Of course," he answered calmly.

* * *

By the time he heard footsteps down the stairs, it was half past six. The festival would be in full swing but Levi did not really care about that. He just wanted the ginger hair girl to enjoy herself. He felt really bad that she needed to constantly take care of her. It was not her job as a subordinate.

Well, if she was a subordinate, you wouldn't have snog the living daylight out of her, an inner voice whispered in his head. His features twisted into a grimace, recalling the kiss they shared. He paused in his thought. He actually kissed her twice. Once in this timeline, twice in another…

He visibly winced as the emotional pain washed over him, pulling him down into the sea of agony. She wouldn't remember.

"Heichou?"

He turned, having sat himself on a chair.

The beauty in front of him wore a plain ivory dress that cascaded down her lithe figure like a waterfall. It was simple and elegant. A bit like her, he thought.

"I-is this okay? Is this too much? I haven't been able to wear this. Not enough occasions…" she trailed off as she smoothed her dress for the umpteen times.

"It looks nice," was Levi's only comment but it made Petra smiled. Her bright smile dazzled the raven hair soldier. But he shrugged it off. And off they went.

* * *

The festival was already buzzling with excitement and chatters. Petra smiled widely, absorbing all the things into her senses. The sweet smell of flowers, the watering fragrant of roasted chicken, the sight of couples dancing and whirling around the bonfire happily, people bargaining for the items displayed in small shops, the…touch?

She widened her gaze as a hand brushed against her buttock. Was that her imagination or? There it was again. She frowned. The hand applied small pressure to her buttock and began-

It stopped. Eh. Was it her really her imagination?

"Petra, let's go to the town square. It is less crowded there," Levi suddenly spoke from beside her. She turned and nodded.

* * *

"This festival is no fun," a young man groaned. "The security is quite tight. We can't try and fool around a little and pick up girls."

"I agree-" another older man replied before he stopped. Both of them stared at a man older than both of them hobbling into the alley they were in.

"What happened, Tom?"

"There is this arsehole," he growled. "He broke my wrist, nose and legs," he held out his hand and winced in pain. "I was just feeling this cute girl up and he looked like he would murder me that instance."

"We need to avoid that guy," the young man said. "Too possessive."

* * *

I am not being possessive, Levi thought. No, it was the right thing to do. It was totally alright to swing a kick and punched his nose, cracked his wrist and legs. In fact, he was going to break a few rib-

"Heichou, thanks for just now," Petra said shyly.

He gazed at her and nodded, acknowledging her thanks. He observed her quietly, wondering if she was okay but she seemed quite alright. He did react fast.

"Shall we get dinner?" Petra suddenly asked. Levi nodded though he was not hungry.

They entered a packed café. Levi had never been to such a fancy one, having lived his life simply even after breaking free from the Underground. Luxury was wasted on him, really. However, this was the only eatery left that would not need to wait for two hours, judging by the crowd.

Petra ordered grilled chicken and Levi had soup.

"Are you not hungry?" She asked in concern after the waiter left.

He was going to agree but thought that she may feel guilty for bringing him to the diner. He shrugged.

Silence hovered over them.

Petra laced her fingers together, fidgeting them around. "Heichou, when do you think the expedition would resume?"

"Two weeks at most," he answered in his monotone. However, his brain was singing a different one. Two weeks more. He had no more plan for now. He left a few times. He looked at her, tracing the planes of her features slowly. He wondered if the Petra in the next timeline he would enter – should he fails – would remember this even in her dream.

Of course no.

He almost snorted at his own delusional thought. The anguish he felt made him hard to control his expression around so many people. That was saying something. Controlling and masking his emotions should be easy…He pressed on. He can't break it now. Isabel and Furlan… he survived that back then too…

A hand brought him back to the noisy reality.

"Heichou? You seem…bothered," the ginger hair girl chose her words carefully.

Levi stared up, into her eyes full of concern.

"You know, heichou feels so distant after you are sick," Petra started, dropping her gaze on her hand and realised that her hand was still on top of his. She began pulling it away but he gently picked at her fingers. She shuddered as the tingle of indescribable pleasure bubbled into her. "It is almost like… you are scared to see us," she said, her voice barely above a whisper but the pain was audible all the same.

Levi's breath hitched in his throat as his dark orbs surveyed hers carefully.

"Everyone is so worried – Eren and Oluo included. Eren is still young and can be a little reckless but he really cares and respects you. Oluo is dense of his surrounding – and a little insensitive – but even he sensed your distance," Petra continued. She hesitated, her eyes on their hands together sprayed across the table. "Did we do something wrong?" She drew a sharp breath and looked up.

Her honey irises almost memorised Levi, sucking him into her world of sincerity and sunshine. He wondered briefly how such a positive bolt of energy can be in this filthy and grim world. He stared at her piercing gaze for a moment, taking in the brilliant shade of deep honey. There were actually tiny bits of very light green and grey in there. This was the first time he noticed.

"No," he answered after a long while.

Petra felt herself blushed under his intense gaze. His gaze was always so intense and hard to read.

Just as she was about to reply, the waiter came, took a look at their hands and waited. Petra's hand shot back to her chest as though as it was scalded. She bit her lips, feeling heat creep up her neck to her face. Levi slowly withdrew his hand, still composed and calm. However, unlike his counterpart, he was more annoyed at the waiter breaking their conversation than embarrassed.

They started their dishes and shifted onto more polite conversations. If Levi had to choose one person to converse, it would be Petra. She was easy to talk to and did not make him feel uncomfortable. Their conversations flowed from the survey corps to her family. Her dad was actually waiting for her letter but she had yet to write one. She said she would write soon because her father must be lonely. Her mother died early and Petra did not have much recollection of her.

After their main dish, Levi politely asked if she wanted dessert; he had no interest in sweet food. She declined but Levi felt that it was because she knew he did not eat sweet food and she did not want him to wait for her. Levi paid for the meal despite Petra's protest. As they walked out, she turned toward him.

"Heichou?" She asked.

"Hm?" He acknowledge and looked at her.

Her eyes darted to his from a fraction before going to the ground. "Do you think Heichou can promise me something?"

Levi remained silent and Petra sneaked a quick look at him, fearful that he would be angry. However, his face remained passive. She pressed on. "I know this is rude and I am risking my position by asking something from the higher-up but…but can you enjoy yourself just for tonight?"

Her voice was quiet, barely audible but Levi caught it. He was caught off guard. A bit taken aback, to be honest. That was almost an amusing thought to Levi who had the instinct of a predator and was always sharp and quick on his feet. He tilted his head slightly, glancing at the girl in front of him. She was still looking at the floor. He thought about his kisses with hers, her smiles, their conversations…

"I will try," he said. It came out curt. However, the girl in front of him beamed. "Really? Then, can we go to the shop over there?"

They went around a few stores and Petra bought some fancy papers for her letter and ink. She went to a small store to get something but Levi was browsing through some other things. He had reminded himself that he said he would put in an effort to enjoy himself. She came back with a small paper bag and looked really satisfied. Just as they were passing by the fountain, an old lady dressed in a cloak stepped up. The cloak was torn and tattered. Levi recognised this cloak – it was worn commonly among the people Underground. She must had risked it to come up here.

"Would you buy a flower for your beautiful wife?"

"Eh? W-wife?" Petra widened her eyes and she could feel herself blushing for the hundredth time tonight.

Levi reached for his money, much to Petra's surprise. She watched curiously as he bought a stalk. The old lady mumbled a sincere thank you and scurried off.

Levi grimaced as he realised that he was left standing with a rose and the image really did not suit him. Anyway, the rose was not his. He spun around, catching Petra by surprise, before pushing it into her hand.

She blinked, surprised as Levi started walking. Her lips curled into a soft smile and she ran forward. "Heichou, thank you," she said, smiling at him. He nodded.

They walked in silence for a little more before Petra spoke again.

"That was really nice of you. To give her some business," she said gently. Levi nodded again.

They were quiet for a while as they had reached the end of the street. The cacophony of noises by the crowd was a distant soft melody here.

"I was from the Underground too," Levi suddenly commented and Petra turned to look at him. She hardly knew anything about his past.

"I see," Petra said lightly.

"Not going to judge?" Levi asked, his voice a bit harsher than he meant it to be and he watched as the girl flinched.

He scowled, his way of apologising. Most people would take that as further aggravating the situation but the ginger hair girl knew better. "Heichou is Heichou. Who cares where you are from?" She said. "The past does not determine who you are."

Levi turned a fraction of his head to look at her. For the first time since she knew this man, he gave her a small smile. It was like a ghost on his lips but it instantly made his features softer. Gone was the man who slayed titans and carried humanity's responsibilities, he was just simply a man who had lose too many and haunted by past mistakes and blood.

In a moment of bravery, Petra reached up to touch his face. She smiled softly. "That smile suits you," she grinned at him. Someone shouted from afar that there was firework. Petra widened her gaze and her lips opened into an  
"O". Levi thought she looked unbearably cute like that.

"I know a place that we can watch firework!" She grabbed his hand in hers and tugged him forward. Together, they weaved through the crowd and reached a deserted tower. She held his hand tightly in hers as they clambered up the spiral stone steps and reached the top.

It was an open balcony that overlooked the town. Just as they reached, firework shot into the air, crackling as it showered rainbow dust into the sky. Petra grinned, her expression reminding Levi of a child who had seen snow for the first time. A small chuckled slipped his mouth before he could stop it.

However, Petra caught it and her smile broadened, if that was even possible. "Heichou, are you enjoying yourself?"

For the first time in his life ever since Isabel and Furlan died, and he had been asked that question, he nodded. It was quick and almost imperceptible but Petra noticed.

They watched the firework until it had died down, each wrapped in their own thoughts.

"Petra."

"Yes?"

"Have you always wondered what it feels like to be someone normal out there and look at the same patch of sky we are looking at now and do not think about freedom, titans or killing but simply just contented to be with the world you had built around you?" He repeated Petra's – the other Petra's – words and watched as she turned, surprise.

"Heichou, you know," she said slowly. "This got to be the most words you ever say in 2 minutes," she commented. Levi scowled and she laughed. The sound was melody to his ears. She paused and her cheeks tinged pink. "Sorry. Where is my manners?"

Levi brushed it off, shrugging. He did not really care for the ranks to be frank.

Petra continued smiling but her eyes turned slightly serious. "Of course, I have. Many a times," she stopped, considering her words carefully. Levi watched curiously as her cheeks flared red. "But you know, Heichou." She halted in her track again. Inhaling sharply, she forced herself to continue. "I wouldn't have it any other way now. I chose this – it is my present and reality – and I am contented," she added. Her eyes locked on his. Grey clashed amber. "If I looked at this piece of sky now, I wouldn't think about titans or freedom – sure, it would come tomorrow – but for now, I think I am so happy that Heichou is happy that I feel like crying! And I think this happiness wouldn't come to me if I haven't thought about titans or freedom every single day of my life for the past few years."

She paused now. Levi remained silent.

"I wouldn't have met you," she whispered.

She was uncertain if it was the adrenaline of her subtle confession or the night had went over her head but she closed the distance between them and stretched a little – he was still a teeny bit taller – and kissed him. He tasted like coffee and darkness and fresh shampoo and it was so intoxicating.

He leaned in, much to her delight and shock. He reached forward to wound an arm around her torso. His lips moved along hers perfectly – like two puzzle pieces clicking together. He pulled away for a while and stared at her quietly, leaning in to rest his forehead on hers. He let her catch her breath then crashed his lips onto hers again with fervent passion.

Every part of him felt like it was set on fire. It was an odd sensation. He felt his heart thudding against his ribcage – similar to how his heart would beat when he was in combat – but there was something else. A feeling he had tried and suppressed and deny. He did not fight it or welcome it.

It was a foreign feeling. It was a foreigner – unfamiliar but not unpleasant.


	10. Blissful Day

**Author's Note below. Enjoy reading!**

* * *

 **The End of Time**

 **Chapter 10 - Blissful Day**

* * *

Levi opened his eyes, feeling that something was amiss. He realised it was his body. It felt…well-rested. He glanced up, catching sight of the sky in a beautiful shade of pink. It was dawn. He made a mental calculation. He had slept approximately 5 hours. That was more than his usual. Much more, he realised. He rolled over a little but stiffened.

A softer body was touching him. Memories of yesterday rushed over, making his groin twitched. He scowled at himself. Heaving himself up slowly, so as not to disturb his other half, he went to the shower.

When he came out, the girl was still sleeping. She was breathing lightly, a contented smile on her lips. He looked at her for a minute; she looked so beautiful. There seemed to be a radiant glow surrounding her. He went to the dresser to pour himself a glass of water but halted in his track. On the dresser, beside the cup, there was a small pouch in lavender colour. His name was neatly written on a card attached to it. He recognised her handwriting.

He gently detached the card to read.

 ** _Heichou,_**

 ** _Thank you for tonight. It was like a dream. Except, it wasn't, was it? It was a blissful reality. Happy Valentine's Day! Levi Heichou, if there is one wish I can make, it is to see you smile like tonight._**

 ** _Petra._**

He looked at the card then at the girl still sleeping soundly. He had to take a while to realise that she wrote it after their... activity. After all, he was with her all night so there was no chance she would had written it without him noticing. However, there was this part that he had, surprising, dozed off first. He set aside the card and took the pouch. It was silky underneath his rough palm. He untied it.

It was pieces of chocolates in heart shape. He frowned, plucked one from the bag and ate it.

It was too early for chocolate and he did not even like sweet…

Oh.

It was bitter. He surveyed the ones in the bag. No, it was bittersweet, he corrected himself. The sinful creamy piece melted on his tongue. He swallowed. He quite liked it.

He felt the bed creaked. He turned around.

Honey irises gazed at him shyly.

"Erm. Good morning, Heichou," she said softly, running a hand through her dishevelled hair.

He nodded slowly as he watched her eyes fell on the pouch in his hand. She flushed. "Do you like it? It is dark cocoa," she stated. "Bittersweet – a bit like Heichou," she added. Then quickly avoided her gaze.

Levi furrowed his eyebrow at her last sentence but did not say anything. Silence descended over them, only broke apart by the occasional chirping sounds.

Petra shut her eyes tightly. Oh God. This is even more awkward than she had thought it would be. Maybe she should have continue sleeping. No, she needed to go back to the room before the rest of the squad started bombing her with question.

She tried and moved then winced. She felt sore between her legs. There was something damp too. She brushed her hand across it. Oh God. It was blood. She widened her eyes as her face burned in embarrassment. Her blood.

So sorry, dad, she silently said her apologise. I can't hold on to my virginity to after marriage. Oh, please forgive-

"Petra, go and shower," he cut through the silence. Her eyes darted over to his. How did he stay so calm? Did he think it was a mistake? Was it a mistake? Was she making a mistake? Oh my God, Petra. Hurt settled into her heart. Was it-

"No, it wasn't," Levi's grumpy voice interrupted her thought.

"Eh?" Petra raised her gaze to his level.

"It is not a mistake," Levi stared at her, unmoving from his position. "You need to work on keeping your face neutral. You are quite easy to read," he continued as Petra's face reddened.

"Heichou-"

"Go shower. I am cleaning the filthy sheets," the frown that always marred his face deepened.

"I-I can do it-"

"Listen to me the first time I speak," his voice was stern. She sighed in defeat and nodded. She was going to slide out of bed but cringed as she realised she would be naked.

"I think we are beyond being embarrassment seeing each other without clothes considering what we did last night was much more intense," he said it bluntly, causing Petra's face to redden even more. For a second there, Levi thought her face would burst into flame. He chuckled, amused.

The sound was foreign not only to his ear but Petra's too. Their eyes locked as the sound seemed to echo in the air. Then, her surprise dissolved into a small smile on her lips. Clambering out of bed, she allowed the blanket to slide off her body, revealing her petite figure. She avoided his gaze as she hobbled around for her clothes. They were folded neatly across a chair. She could clearly remember that her dress was just tossed aside… she blushed as her mind pulled one particular sexy moment last night. But then again, she thought, this was Heichou. He must had tidied up the room after she fell asleep.

She began dressing hastily but paused in her track when he spoke.

"What are you doing?"

"Dressing?"

"Petra, do you really need to hide your modesty so much from me? You could just enter the shower now."

"Eh? But the shower is across the hall-" she stopped abruptly, realising what he was suggesting. "You mean…I use your bathroom?" Her voice was barely a whisper.

"Should you not, Petra? Do you have objection using my bathroom? It is clean," He retorted, seeming undisturbed as he began stripping his bedsheet.

"No, I know it is clean. I mean-I just-" She stuttered.

"You use my bed mere hours ago," Humanity's strongest soldier pointed out. Her expression morphed into a pout with faint pink on her cheeks. So darn cute, Levi thought, curbing the urge to push her on bed again.

"That is because Heichou asked me to stay," she mumbled, still pouting. "I wanted to leave…"

"And I want you to use my bathroom," he interrupted. "Petra, go now. Since when did you disobey me so much?" He raised an eyebrow, his lips curving into a smirk. As though as insinuating that it began since yesterday night – since they got intimate.

She nodded quickly, knowing that there was no point bickering with him – not that she would, of course. He was her higher-up…that was their relationship status now right…? Still.

Scurrying past him, Petra quickly entered the bathroom. She surveyed the surroundings gingerly. It was fairly bigger than the communal one a floor down with a large mirror suspended over a sink, racks to put towels and shampoos and one cabinet. She turned on the water and almost sighed in bliss. Hot water. She quickly set to scrub her skin with soap she found on the rack. Inhaling, a faint smile crept onto her face. The shampoo was Heichou's. A nervous chuckle escaped her. She was using his shampoo... how intimate…

Stop, Petra, stop, she willed her thought to stay pure. She reminded herself that water was sacred resource and she needed to be hasty. She would think about all her disturbed thought later.

* * *

Levi's face was emotionless as he swapped the dirty sheet for a clean one. As he worked, he listened absentmindedly to the water raining against the floor. It was getting complicated. He did not regret the night before but he did not want to hurt her. It was impossible to have a future together; not with the titans around; not with him trying to save her from the fate of dying; not with knowing that this would be a fleeting memory for him and an unknown one for her somewhere else if he fails…

The door flung opened and his eyes darted over to the door quickly.

Hanji.

"Levi, guess what! Erwin said if you are feeling better, you are not quarantined anymore! Training can resume. The expedition may be pushed to-" Hanji paused, her eyes swerving to the direction of the bathroom. "Levi-"

"Heichou, I am-" Petra opened the door of the bathroom, her eyes widening as her towel wrapped around her body slipped from her hand.

Fuck, Levi thought.

* * *

"Petra, what's with you?" Oluo complained at the breakfast table. He took a sip of his tea and almost spit it out. "Petra, the tea-"

"Is delicious," Eld interrupted, elbowing his squad mate.

"Oi Eld, are you sure you are alright? Did you do it too many times with your fiancée yesterday night? I am pretty sure-"

"It is good. In fact, the breakfast is good too, Miss Ral," Eren politely interrupted Oluo for the second time. Oluo shot the young boy an incredulous look.

"Eren, you may have been training too hard and biting your fist too much too. But I don't think it affects your taste bud. The breakfast is atro-"

"You are the one who bites your tongue too much," Gunther cuts in. "Here, have another slice of bread."

"I am not eating this wicked thing. How can she made the bread so-"

The sound of the chair scrapping across the floor broke Oluo's sentence. Four pairs of eyes darted over to the sole woman in the kitchen. "I am going up," she announced absentmindedly and left.

"What the heck just happened?" Oluo asked.

"You should shut your mouth when you can," Gunther grumbled. "Eren, let's go monitor your progress together. I heard Hanji came over today. Levi must be out of quarantined. Let's show him your improvement today!"

* * *

Hanji crossed her leg as she shifted on the chair, ignoring the withering look the man across the room was giving her.

He watched, almost with an apprehensive look on his face. He was waiting for her to breach the topic in 3, 2, 1…

"So, good night eh?" The tall squad leader's face morphed into a shit-eating grin – as the man would call it.

"I rather we talk about titans," he replied dryly.

"Now, now. I give you the chance two days ago to talk about it but you refused," Hanji's grin stretched even more across her face. "Too late to change your mind, Levi Heichou." Hanji dragged her voice at the last two syllable.

The impish tone was not lost on Levi. He reached forward to grab a fruit knife that was always available on his dresser. His eyes twitched; a warning. "Hey, hey, loosen up," Hanji lifted both her arms in mock surrender. Levi scowled, unamused.

"So, rather than asking about the good night which I would absolutely love to know, I want to ask you about your plan for the expedition," her voice changed.

Levi's posture tensed. Hanji, knowing him for years already, smiled sympathetically. Levi brushed the smile off. He knew this would come. Yesterday's night was just another extra burden he had to carry for the rest of his life – along with so many others.

"I really have no plan," he answered honestly. If it was anyone else, he would had kept his answer extremely guarded and chose his words carefully. It came with the rank. If he had answered that in front of the two other military fractions, they would have made derisive jokes and comments on the Survey Corps. But it was Hanji.

Hanji's features softened. "You know," she started slowly. "Neither do I. But I will visit you again when – if – I have a plan." Levi nodded as a thank you. "I will let you know again the date for expedition. But I supposed Erwin would visit you personally for that. Have you…" she hesitated, lifting her glasses up her nose to stall time.

"What?"

"Have you been dreaming about…"

"Yeah," Levi interrupted curtly.

"Any answer to what I asked the previous time?"

Levi kept silent. He leaned against his wall and stared out of the window into the sky.

Happiness.

What is happiness?

"Breakfast. I need breakfast," Hanji said, breaking his train of thoughts. She stood up. She walked toward the door and on the way out, she patted Levi on the shoulder. "I honestly just want you to be happy, buddy. I saw you these few days, Levi. You were happy with her. At least, I think you were. Your face is lighter. Less," Hanji frowned. "Ugly."

Levi threw a filthy look at her direction and she merely replied with a grin. "By the way," Hanji continued, her hand on the handle. "If you need more of those shiny packages, I, Hanji Zoe, is at your service." She winked, before promptly pushing opened the door and running away, only a second away from dodging Levi's kick.

* * *

My life is over, Petra thought to herself. Hanji-san saw them! This is scandalous. This is absolutely wrong and forbidden and everything she could think about under the sky right now that indicated the word "sinful". She cradled her head with her palms as her legs folded herself. She closed her eyes, feeling hot tears prickling at the edge. Heat of mortification washed through her. She had gasped and slinked back into the bathroom to be dressed decently. And saluted Hanji-san before darting out of the room, not sparing Heichou a glance.

Heichou, Petra thought glumly, he must be furious. "Arghhh," Petra moaned in frustration. She dropped her head into her knee and curled up into a foetus position. My life is over…

A knock echoed.

She looked up.

"Petra, may I come in?" Hanji's voice floated in. Petra nodded mutely before mentally slapping herself. She can't see!

"Y-yes," her voice cracked. She sniffled, wiping her eyes roughly. The door opened and the friendly and eccentric squad commander stepped in. "Hanji-san," the younger ginger head attempted to stand up to salute the other taller woman.

Said taller woman brushed away the younger lady's formalities. "No, Petra. I am just here to ask you about some stuffs."

Petra's face began glowing hot. "Erm-"

"Not about the information," the taller woman laughed boisterously. Petra cringed. Catching that, Hanji winked, not at all sheepish with her statement that had caused the ginger head to shift uncomfortably.

"May I?" Hanji gestured to the seat on the floor beside Petra. Petra nodded. "So sorry- I could get you a chair."

"No. I have to get back to my squad soon. They were causing ruckus last night," Hanji rolled her eyes but her lips were turned up into a fond smile. The ponytail squad leader folded herself onto the floor, her lanky legs awkward. She brushed a loose strand that had fallen into Petra's eyes unnoticed.

"Thank you," Petra said softly, her face dusted with a shade of pink. Hanji smiled reassuringly; it was a promise that the ginger hair lady was not getting into any punishment. At that, Petra's shoulder sagged with relief. "Did you use protection?"

"Eh?" Petra widened her eyes.

"Did you use protection?" Hanji repeated patiently.

Petra nodded, the pink on her cheeks darkening.

Hanji smiled, reaching up to tousle Petra's hair. Petra squeezed her eyes tight, a warm feeling bubbling inside her.

"Good. We can't have you pregnant."

The warm feeling stopped, halting in its track tersely. Petra froze. Seeming to sense her sudden stiffness, Hanji pulled her arm away. Hanji's eyes swept over the younger girl warily. "Petra-"

"I know, I know. What am I thinking? I just- I got carried away," the ginger hair woman rubbed at her eyes roughly. Tears? Hanji thought to herself. "I am so…so sorry, Hanji-san. I don't know what is happening. I just- I haven't forgotten about my duty," Petra looked up now for she had, in their conversation, slowly shifted her head down to stare at the floor. Hanji saw her eyes were red on the rim.

"I know you haven't," Hanji said.

Petra sniffed. "I am sorry. I hate being like this. Oh God. I know there isn't a happy ending for us. I-I know we can't be together. I-" she was blabbering now.

"Petra," Hanji's voice pierced through the air firmly. "Petra, look at me."

Slowly, Petra's gaze lifted to meet the older lady's one. "It is okay. It is understandable. You are not being foolish. You are already very strong, Petra. You are a woman too. Yes, a soldier first and foremost. But you are still a human. We all yearn for some sort of happiness. Titans or not, we all desire for happiness and love. I just want you to remember that you cannot fall. You must not," Hanji's voice swiftly changed from gentle to firm. "There is no place for love in our world. I am sorry, Petra," the older lady said softly. She could feel the younger girl spiralling into hysterics at her words and though she felt bad, she could not help but knew that this is the truth, that warning her would be better.

They stayed still for a while, the silence penetrated by her occasional sniffing. Hanji's hand moved to rub soothing circles on her back.

Then, there was a knock on the door.

"Petra?"

It was Levi. Both ladies froze but it was Hanji who reacted first. She pulled up, giving Petra one final rub. Hanji crossed the room and opened the door, momentarily surprising the raven hair man.

"Four eyes?" He stared at her, regaining his composure. "Thought you are already back to your squad for breakfast."

"Oh yes. Silly me. I am supposed to," Hanji said. "Levi, what are you doing here?" She asked casually, still blocking the entrance.

Levi scowled. "We are having a training now. It has been a while. The squad wants to show me some of that brat's improvement."

"I see," Hanji said but the fact that Levi came and call the girl did not go unnoticed by her. Usually, it would be one of the squad members. She lowered her voice. "Look, Levi, she is a bit emotionally unstable. Not surprising, considering I could have touch some tender topics."

"Did you-"

"No. I did not. But, Levi, you should not be emotionally attached to her any more than she is to you," Hanji's voice softened to a whisper. It was disconcerting for Levi to see the usually loud and rowdy woman to be speaking so softly. "If you ever – ever – choose the other universe, then don't. I really don't know what the hell would happen to the you in this universe. And I am not sure who breaks faster without you – her or the humanity."

Hanji slipped past him without another word, leaving him standing at the entrance. He was about to knock again when Petra stood in front him. "Ah! Heichou," she smiled though Levi could see it was strained. Her face was slightly pale but nothing seemed out of place.

* * *

Petra tucked her hair behind her ear, hoping that Heichou would not notice her little weak moment with Hanji. She was grateful that the older lady had woke her up. She had been in a bit of dreamlike state, drifting away from reality. But reality was harsh and cruel. There would be no way they could be together. She enjoyed last night but last night was a memory.

"There is a training, right?" Petra attempted another smile.

Levi nodded, face not betraying a single emotion. Suddenly, he leaned close to her and her breath caught.

A finger on her forehead and-

"Ouch!" Petra cried out as he flicked her forehead. "Heichou!" She protested. "What was that-hmph!"

His lips on hers was gentle, washing away her pain. He pulled away before she reacted.

"Petra, training area. Come quickly after getting into your attire."

"Yes, sir!" Her lips were still tingling.

* * *

"You okay?"

Eren looked up and smiled at the concern tone in the ginger hair lady's voice.

"Yes, just a bit sore here," Eren winced as he rotated his shoulder. It cracked. Petra laughed a little. "If you do this, it will be better." She said, her fingers lightly massaging the sore spot on his shoulder.

"Oh, it is!" Eren looked down in wonder as though as the lady had performed some sort of magic. She giggled. "Levi Heichou pushed us a bit harder than usual," she pointed out.

"No shit, Petra," Oluo said, hissing as his own muscles ached. "I can't believe we did a 20km across the forest. Would you like to service me too…" Oluo's voice trailed off. Petra looked across his shoulder. Levi was standing at the kitchen's doorway, leaning against the hinge and glaring daggers at Oluo.

"Tomorrow, after our morning training, Oluo and Eld can get the oil for our 3DMG in the nearby town. Eren, you continue your training with Gunther. Petra, you can clean the stable. Erwin wants to see me so we will resume training in the evening." Levi did not wait for their salutes – he honestly gave zero fuck to that – and went up the stairs to shower.

Petra hesitated, wondering if she should head upstairs too but the mere possibility of encountering Heichou would be too much. Hanji's words echoed in her head. No, she can't. She waited for a while, lingering around the kitchen, pretending to fuss over the utensils that needed to be washed – there aren't. She bit on her lips and waited anxiously. Finally, after 10 minutes, she deemed the upstairs safe.

"I am going to write my dad a letter," Petra announced quietly before slipping upstairs. She crept up the stairs, afraid to see him. When she sighed in relief at the empty hallway, she turned to her room. But she should know better. She froze. He was standing at her room's doorway.

They stared at each other, the air charged with all sort of emotions but Petra could only taste anxiety and fear.

"I look like a creep, honestly. Would you hurry up and shove me off so I can go back to my room?" His bored voice made Petra giggled despite herself. She wanted to avoid him yet, he was like a magnet, drawing her to him each time.

"What is Heichou doing here?" She asked instead.

He shrugged, looking perturbed himself. Petra startled. She was reading him quite well tonight. "Heichou," she said slowly. "Is it you want to come to my room?" She thought the words sounded lewd, though she honestly wanted it to sound innocent.

"I do need some tea and I do not make good ones," he answered. She smiled a little. "I will get you some. If you want to wait a little while in my room," she said coquettishly. Levi almost snorted at her tone, amused. He nodded and entered the room before the rest of the males in the resident could become suspicious.

Petra hurried downstairs, relief to see only Eren and Gunther discussing about their work for the next day. She gave them a small smile before making the tea. She hoped that they would not notice that she was using black leaves…

"Petra?"

She almost dropped the tea leaves.

"Y-yes?" She tried and answer smoothly but of course she did not; lying was not her forte. Luckily, the two did not catch on.

"Do you think Eren is improving?" Gunther asked bluntly, eliciting a sound of discomfort from the brunette teenager.

Petra turned slowly, tossing the black leaves carelessly aside in hope that they don't see it. "Of course. Eren, have faith in yourself. And have faith in us too," she answered honestly and warmly. She smiled kindly at the younger boy who blushed a little.

"Yeah, give us a little credit too. Don't shoulder everything yourself," Gunther said lightly and laughed a little to mask the seriousness in his last sentence. Petra nodded, agreeing. She turned around then, picked up her tray and passed them hastily. She bade them a good night and left.

She almost thought the black hair man was her illusion. Either that, or he was pulling her leg and had returned back to his room. As such, she flinched outwardly when she saw him sitting at the edge of her bed. She could feel herself flushing already at his intimacy. For a minute there, she was glad that she was the only female. It had meant that her room was further away from the rest of the males. She batted away her indecent thought as quickly as it came.

"Petra, you look pretty stupid hovering at the corner," his gruffly voice reminded her that she did indeed look ridiculous lingering around the door with a tray. Her flush deepened and she set the tray down on her study. She handed Levi a cup which he accepted with a nod. He was still on her bed and made no indication that he would move away. This unnerved her.

He seemed to catch that and his lips curled a little. Too smug, Petra thought to herself. She reminded herself to breathe and sat down at her study. She reached forward with wobbly hand and took a piece of the fancy paper she brought during the festival.

Festival.

She stilled. The memories of last night was still fresh – fresh as the rose that was in a makeshift vase on her dresser. Which the raven hair man saw.

"That was a creative idea," he commented at her vase made of a small slim bucket she found in the kitchen.

"That was the best I could do," she mumbled, clearly uncomfortable. She took a quill she had since her training days and dipped it into fresh ink. She began writing.

 ** _Dear papa,_**

 ** _I-_**

She stalled as a coarse hand ran through her hair. A pleasant sensation pulsed through her and she shuddered, not knowing whether it was from the sensation or the fact that he had so much control over her.

"Oi, Petra. I can guess what the four eyes said today," his voice was close – too close – to her ear. His breath fanned across her and she almost mewled. "She is right."

It felt like time paused at that point. Throughout her entire training and soldier's life, she had sustained injuries, some life threatening and some mild, but painful all the same. However, the degree of pain was always bearable to her. She knew she had a high tolerance for pain and was proud of it. But. But his words. It hurts more than she thought it would. Of course, she had known. She was not a fool. She had known he came in to talk about something – about them – and she had been delaying throughout the day. She was a coward in that aspect. Her hand tightened on the quill, causing ink to blot on the clean white paper. In the corner of her eyes, she saw the ink spreading, eating up the fresh piece of paper. Her vision was blurry.

Shit, she was tearing up. She can't-

"I know," she gathered her courage and spoke up. Her voice trembled a little but she felt a wave of pride for even being able to speak. She attempted a feeble smile. "I know. Don't worry, Heichou. This wouldn't be a burden," her voice was soft but it was laced with determination; her promise to him.

She lifted her gaze to meet his.

* * *

Light with darkness.

He stared at her, tracing the plane of her features – something he did a lot these few days. He reached up again for his hand had dropped back to his side during the conversation. His heart clenched as she visibly recoiled. His hand crumpled into a fist instead. He closed the small gap between two of them, eyes fixed on her, unwavering. "I can't be your lover, don't be mistaken. I can't promise you happiness or give you enough affection. There is no place for love in this fucking hell. But I promise you this."

* * *

His voice softened into a tone that soothed Petra to no end. It was a voice she had never heard before and didn't think the man in front of him possessed. The voice reminded her of the sound of leaves rustling in a summer breeze. Promising coolness from the blistering heat. She closed her eyes and the tears she had been holding in fell.

It was admiration when she was younger – much younger. She remembered she would scale the low wall that separated her house and the main street just to desperately try and catch a glimpse of him. As a young girl, she would stare at him with fascination and respect when the survey corps walked slowly back from the outside world. Stare and stare she would, until he disappeared from her sight.

Then, as she grew older, she enrolled into military, hoping to become a great soldier like him. Desperate pleas from her dad fell upon her deaf ears. During the periods of her training, she caught him times and times again. She would smile fondly from a distance.

A few years later, she was blooming into a young lady. Her teenage heart, tender and romantic as ever, harboured a small crush for this enigmatic raven hair man. She decided to enter the Survey Corps, despite her father's agitated protests and wrath. Part of her knew she belonged there, to fight for a freedom, to fight for something, to be useful; another part of her knew she desired to see him more. That was why to say that she was delighted when she was picked by him to be in his special unit would be an understatement of the century. She would write zealously to her father about this achievement, turning a blind eye to his less than enthusiastic respond.

In the short year under his wing, she developed a more profound feeling for him. More than a crush. More than a temporary feeling…

 _"I just want you to remember that you cannot fall. You must not."_

She wanted to apologise to Hanji. But she knew she had to keep this feeling in. Biting back the pain, she looked up and smiled once again at the man she had devoted her entire life to.

Maybe, even long before their night together, she had already fallen.

* * *

They did not talk about the pain and the hurt and the unknown. It was too frightening. Instead, Levi spent the night in her room. They slept curled up together; their bodies pressing together so close, leaving only an infinitesimal space between them. Neither minded; instead, they talked about their past and background. Well, most of the times she was the one talking and he listened but sometimes he would inject comments here and there. Some were witty, some were quite dry and some made Petra smiled softly.

* * *

Morning came and the rays of sunlight peered through the dark curtain, bathing everything into a golden glow. On the bed, a blanket was draped neatly over a ginger head.

Said ginger hair peered out from her blanket, blinking groggily. Memories of the night before came rushing into her head, making her slightly dizzy with the happiness of a girl who had fallen in love. She slipped out of bed and stretched. She did expect the other side of the bed to be cold. She was happy but not delusional. Her eyes flickered around the room, at the study lay her half – actually, barely – written letter, reminding her to finish the letter before the expedition, at the cleaner state of her room – he must had arranged something – and her gaze landed on the dresser.

A small piece of paper was on it. Widening her eyes, she plucked it up, careful not to knock over the bucket containing the rose. She unfolded it, smoothing the ceases and squinted at it. The handwriting was atrocious but she smiled despite it.

 **Sleep in for training. Stable by noon.**

The smile slides from her face. Oh shit, she cursed, surprising herself further. One, she never curse. Two, she had forgotten about the training. Turning her head wildly around, she caught sight of her uniform. Abandoning all grace and manner, she did a quick wash up, threw on her clothes and scrambled out the backdoor from the kitchen. She tugged on her boots, making sounds of frustration at her equipment.

But her frustration heightened at the thought of explaining to the rest of the members. And how would she face Heichou?!

"Petra, are you sure you should be up?" Eld asked in concern as she came into view. They were in the clearing that they were in yesterday, thank God. It seemed that they had a few exercises already though, Petra thought as she could see the sweat sheening their skin.

"Eh?" Petra frowned.

"Heichou said you were not feeling well. Are you better now?" Gunther walked over, giving her a look of concern.

"Oh-oh…yes, I am feeling better," Petra answered, disconcerted. Then, she had an epiphany. Oh! Heichou must have covered for her. She discreetly sneaked a glance at his direction but he wasn't looking at her; he was talking to Eren.

"What have you all been doing?" She swiftly changed the subject.

"The same thing. We were cutting some mock titans," Oluo replied. "Captain hacking us real time. I think the next one is another 10km before Eren's practice again."

Petra nodded.

* * *

The next few hours were spent doing vigorous training. It was harder and harsher than any of the trainings they did. Oluo kept moaning and groaning beside her which irritated her to no end. However, unlike her companion, she was actually glad to be doing this. It kept her mind off things she did not want to think about and discouraged the pain that threatened to spill over her. She landed gently on the tree branch as they stopped for the day. Eren was doing better than any other days which seemed to lighten all their moods. With the grace of a soldier that had a decade of experience underneath her belt, she manoeuvred herself over to the young brunette.

"Eren!" She exclaimed bubbly. "You did well!"

"Ah, really?" Eren had an expression of doubt. He looked down at the back of his hand. Petra's eyes followed. Bite marks scarred his otherwise flawless skin. She pursed her lips. It was not fair for God to let this young man carried so many burdens.

"Yes," she answered quietly. "You make us proud," she added. The young brunette looked up at her, a look of surprise flitting into his eyes. It was a fleeting moment but it encouraged her to continue.

"Come on. You did really well today," her eyes twinkled. "You know what? Let me teach you the massage I did for you yesterday. And then, I will cook some hot soup for dinner tonight. Deal?" She beamed at him, watching as his skin turned red.

"T-that would be great!"

Petra smiled, satisfied that he seemed a little cheered up.

"Oi, Petra, time for our next activity. Brat, let's go. You have more to work on."

Eren and she turned to face the short man. His face was twisted into a grimace and he looked slightly unhappy. His eyes darted to hers – stormy in the unfathomable grey – and away after a fleeting moment. He turned away, back towards them. "I am seeing Erwin later. So, make sure to get your work done before I am back."

"Yes, sir!"

* * *

Petra scrubbed her horse. "You like some bath too, don't you?" She giggled as the horse snorted in agreement. "I am sorry; just a little bit only," she whispered. She glanced down; the mere bucket of water at her feet was reserved for all their horses. She sighed as she removed the sponge from her horse. Her brown mare whined in protest. Ignoring the guilt that bubbled into her heart, she shook her head and patted her one last time. She moved onto the next horse.

It was a lighter coloured stallion. His coat was somehow always gleaming even among the filth. She had to suppress her giggle at that thought. A bit like the owner. Said stallion stamped his hoof impatiently as he eyed the bucket beside her feet. No, she corrected herself, a lot like the owner.

"Alright, buddy," she mumbled softly as she dabbed the sponge in icy cold water. She worked on the horse slowly, trying to filter out thoughts of a certain man. Even though they seemed to have reach a compromise yesterday, it felt so ambiguous still. She didn't want to question their relationship.

By the time she had finished all the horses and combed them thoroughly with a mane comb and dandy brush, the sun was beginning to set. Along with the day ending, her thoughts had also strengthened her final resolve.

She would just be contented with this. Whatever this is, as long as Heichou is safe and sound. And beside her, she reminded herself softly.

With that thought, and satisfied with the cleaning, she headed back to the castle.

* * *

Gunther and Eren weren't back yet but Eld and Oluo were. They were refilling their 3DMG. Petra handed hers over for them to help her and then went to the kitchen to prepare dinner.

She intended to fulfil the promise she had to Eren. She set about slicing potatoes and carrots. Then, knowing that she may get an earful later, but also knowing everyone needed it, she added some meat into the soup.

By the time the soup was left to simmer, and Petra was preparing the utensils, the door of the main common room opened. Eren and Gunther were talking and laughing. Her shoulder visibly sagged and she realised she was holding onto her breath. She guessed she was tense, wanting to know that Eren had did well. She was no fool. She knew this expedition rode on Eren. Humanity was on his young shoulder. Laughter means success, she supposed. She went and showered afterward.

When she came down, Oluo and Gunther were engaged in a conversation about their combat skills. Eren and Eld were also involved in another set of conversation about Eld's experiences with titans. She smiled a little at the scene. It felt like home. She went to the kitchen.

And got a shock of her life.

The raven hair man was scooping soup into bowls. He looked up, his bored stare fixed on her face. But there was something else. A change in demeanour. Darker. She blinked and instantly, the change was gone.

"Heichou, I can do it-"

"Almost done," he replied. She tucked her hair behind her nervously. It was the first time the two of them were together since yesterday night. Was he going to bring it up? No. That would be unlikely. Then, would he mention about the meat in the soup? Oh please, Petra. You have more things to worry about than getting scolded for wasting the sacred resources on this nondescript night-

"Your handwriting is atrocious this morning," she blurted out. She froze. She did not just say this. She did not just say that out loud. She did not-

"What?"

She did! She mentally kicked herself. She always went and did stupid things when she was at a loss. Or say, she reminded herself sharply, bringing herself back to reality where a certain raven hair man was staring at her with incomprehensive dark irises. A twitch on his vein on the side of his temple was visible. She cringed.

"I mean-" She started backtracking. "I mean..."

"I struggled with writing since I was from the Underground," he shrugged. "No education, no nothing. I learned a bit by myself but that's it. My handwriting was akin to a young child because I hardly write anyway. In fact, I am now fucking stressed over some documents Erwin wanted me to do," he said.

Petra chuckled because his face soured so instantly. He glared at her and she quietened down. "No, no Heichou. I am not mocking you. It is just your face…" she broke into a fit of laughter again. It felt good to laugh. The stitches on the side of her stomach made her realise how she had never laugh out loud – and so genuinely – in a long time. In times where survival took priority, happiness was never really a thing. "I am sorry Heichou," she mumbled after her laughter subsided.

He grunted but his irises danced with amusement. A sign that he was not offended. They fell silent as he passed her the bowls and she distributed them onto the table.

"Heichou?" Petra broke the silence. She twirled a lock of hair around her finger.

He glanced over his shoulder at her and urged her to go on with his look.

"I can help you with the document," she said shyly. "I mean, I don't have to read them. I know it is confidential and stuffs and I just thought maybe for the writing-" She added quickly, realising too late that she was blabbering.

"Okay," he said shortly, cutting off her efficiently. He turned back to the pot. She bit her lips, controlled her expression of delight and surprise, and turned her back to him too. It was only a moment later that she spoke.

"Heichou, why did you say I was sick this morning?" Petra suddenly asked, staring at a piece of carrot floating on the soup.

There was silence. Petra waited. But still, it was silent.

Finally, she raised her head.

His back was still turned but his posture was far more rigid than a few minutes ago. Worries started filling her. Was there something she did…?

"He-" Petra opened her mouth.

"Wow, it smelled heavenly!" Eld exclaimed as the men piled in. She almost sighed in frustration. Forcing a smile, she took her seat. Levi had took his seat but his expression was a blank slate.

He had clearly avoided her question.

* * *

Dinner passed by in a blur and she volunteered to do the dishes with Eren. Despite protests from the males that she should rest, she shrugged it off and said that she did skip some parts of the training today and felt bad. After some bickering, they gave up. She cleaned the dishes slowly, talking to Eren about tips to relax his muscles and laughed at some of the humorous anecdotes he recounted about his training days. She really enjoyed talking to the brunette. By the end, when she was drying her hand with a tattered cloth, she had thoroughly enjoyed herself and kept her confusion and anxiety at bay.

It was only after saying goodnight to the titan shifter did she felt a modicum of nervousness. As she clambered up the stairs, she chewed on her bottom lip. Would he be waiting for her? Did he hint anything earlier on? No, don't think so. Without warning, she had reached the landing. She walked toward her room, her heart starting to beat faster than ever.

No one was there.

Of course she should feel relieved, Petra thought to herself. Of course she should had. But of course, she was also a crap liar and she wasn't relieved. She was such a bad liar; she could not even convince herself. She was crestfallen.

She stood at the same spot for at least two minutes, berating herself over her disappointment – something she shouldn't had felt. Then, she opened the door to her room. And slowly sank onto her bed. It felt like his presence from the night before still lingered.

That night, she did not sleep well. She tossed and turned, still catching whiffs of his faint scent on her pillow. She constantly thought about their complicated relationship and what their future – or the lack thereof – would be. Then, around half past three, she finally gave up on sleep. She got up and shrugged on her Survey Corps jacket to cover her loose night dress. It was a dress unfitting of a female soldier – it looked too revealing among males – but it was her mother's and she had insisted on bringing it with her. She quietly unlocked the backdoor as she did not want to disturb anyone and stepped out into the moonlit night.

And walked toward the stable.

* * *

 **WARNING: INCREDIBLY LONG NOTE**

 **Author's Note: Hiya! Surprise to see me updating so near my recent update date? Me too! Hahaha. I had some free time so I decided to write. Thank you so much for the reviews and favourites! They always make me so happy! As I am quite a long-winded person, there are a few things I wish to say. Firstly, yes, the first part of the story hinted something more for both our hero and heroine. I actually had written a Chapter 9.5 which consists of a M-rated scene *blinks innocently*. But I also understand that this is T-rated and I am just wondering if I should even post it up as a oneshot. Either that, or change the rating of this story. However, I had decided not to do the latter because some readers who had been following this story may not want to read M-rated stories. I shall leave the M-rated moment aside for the time being.**

 **Secondly, I really love writing from Petra's perspective for most of this chapter. Levi is fascinating to write but his thoughts and feelings are** **incredibly complex. Petra is lighter - not easier - but just lighter. Thirdly, it irked me a little - okay, more than a little - that the length of each chapter differs significantly. They seem to grow longer in length over the past few chapters. I am trying to keep it consistent but to be honest, I like to have my chapters cut at a particular area. Hahaha.**

 **Levi: What a picky and demanding brat.**

 **Me: T.T**

 **So if you do find it a tad bit annoying, do tell me. I apologise in advance for the inconsistency. Fourthly, if you look at my chapter 8 and 9, you would realise I edited a little yesterday. I had a minor heart attack when I read through the SNK wikia after half a decade (That is exaggeration, I know) and caught a tiny detail. Levi's eyes is grey - not black! This caught me off guard. I went to watch season 3 and realised indeed his eyes are dark but not black. I am so sorry; I had edited the parts. By the way, just swaying a little from the topic here, season 3's Levi is impossibly handsome. I startled (I mean he always was but somehow he looked...younger also?). MUHAHAHAHAHA.**

 **To my reviewer (Inaba always): Thank you for your review and question! I didn't know where to answer so I will answer here. Although I study Japanese, I am no expert (far from it so please pardon me if I make a mistake), but as far as I know, I don't think so. If the conversation is between two people, they don't. Which brings me back to why I do in my story. I can't explain why for the other authors you mentioned but for me especially, it is a form of respect. For Petra, you would realise that even in her thoughts, Levi is still Heichou. It actually represents her respect and their distance from each other -** **subordinate** **and higher-up. For Levi, he is more casual and doesn't give a care about the ranks. Still, he does address her politely - he obviously care for her. I hope I manage to answer your question. Thank you for taking the time to leave a review!**


	11. Insanity

**Author's Note: Thank you for the reviews and views! Much appreciated as always! Enjoy!**

* * *

 **The End of Time**

 **Chapter 11 - Insanity**

* * *

Isabel wandered around the street. It was still early in the morning. Her eyes darted around, constantly searching for something. Her eyes landed on her target. She beamed. Careful not to startle the lady, she walked over to her.

As Isabel drew distance with the lady, her first thought was 'wow'. Her skin was milky-white and unblemished and her cheeks were tinged with rosy pink. Irises the colour of liquid amber sparkled as she laughed with the stall owner selling jewellery. She was the epitome of beautiful.

She went over, pretending to look interested in the jewellery from a near distance. But she wasn't. For her, who had been born in the Underground and had lived there for more than a decade, these tangible items were nothing but superficial. She toyed with the idea of getting one just to look see Levi tching at her but her pouch was light. Money was hard to come by. Nevertheless, the mere thought of seeing the look of irritation on his face made her chuckle.

That caught the attention of the shop owner and the lady.

Isabel shrunk away suddenly as the shop owner's smile turned upside down into a frown.

"Survey Corps?" She scowled, eyeing the emblem on the red hair ponytail's girl. The woman's eyes flashed dangerously. "My son died months ago – near Christmas – and his body was never brought back. Just one limb. But guess what? Your leader could only say "I am sorry" I spent my Christmas alone – with my son's limb! You took our tax and you couldn't even give me back my loved one safely!" The shop owner spat vehemently.

Isabel flinched, as though as she was beaten physically. A crowd began to gather. Mumbles rippled across the crowd. Isabel closed her eyes, feeling a twinge of guilt in her stomach – for the soldier she didn't know and had died.

"Mrs Weber," a new voice spoke – it was the beautiful lady. Her voice was still friendly but there was an underlying tone implying more. It cuts through the thick air of tension. "I understand it is really distressing to you and I am sure this young lady here felt extremely apologetic over your loss – the entire town does. But she was not involved in it; she looked pretty young and inexperienced. A trainee, most probably. Mrs Weber, I would visit you again. Please, I would bring my finest tea leaves tomorrow. This young lady here is my friend. Now, if you will excuse us."

Isabel felt a soft grip on her wrist before she was wheeled out of the crowd and to the street. Isabel walked with glazed eyes, following the gentle pull of the lady dazedly. The grip did not loosen until Isabel was led into a shop. The scent of various tea leaves assaulted her nostril.

"If you would like, there is a small stool at the back of the shop," the lady said and Isabel nodded without many words. The lady left her for a while and headed toward the counter.

Isabel walked slowly to the back of the shop where, as the lady promised, there was two stools and a small table. She took her seat. She was visibly shaken. This was the first. She was rarely afraid to speak up and defend for herself. She was also confident, something she had prided herself on. Yet, the words the lady threw at her stung. Or it could be because she could feel the raw emotion – the torrent of sadness – from the shopkeeper earlier. It rendered her speechless. She hunched her shoulder. This was why she was never good with humans. With them, she felt that she didn't belong. Unless it was with Aniki and Furlan. She smiled a little at the thought of them.

"Glad to see you are not so shaken now," the lady's voice brought her back to reality.

She looked up. The lady was offering a cup of tea. She accepted it with a quiet thank you. She inhaled, watching the lady over the curls of steam. The lady, unaffected by her gaze, sat herself down on the other stool.

"So sorry for that," the lady broke the silence first. "Mrs Weber is usually nicer," she said then paused. "Much nicer," she corrected herself with a dry smile.

"No, I am sure she must have it tough," Isabel shook her head. She took a sip. Black tea. Aniki's favourite.

"Thank you for saving me just now," she mumbled shyly. See, she was uncomfortable with humans.

The lady laughed, her voice silvery. "You don't know how glad I am that you look like a trainee," she said, her voice playful but she added hastily upon seeing Isabel's expression. "No, no. Not an offence, I hope?"

"None taken. I guess it is better to be call a kid than an adult," the red head grumbled. "Though that is also subjective."

The lady looked relieved and amused. She stuck out her hand. "I am Petra Ral."

"I know," Isabel said, a smug smirk on her lips with her regained composure. "I am Isabel Magnolia."

"You know?" Petra blinked then her gaze fell on her uniform. "Ah. Levi's subordinate?"

Isabel snorted violently, earning an amused look on the other lady's face. "Hardly. But well, I guess I am his self-proclaimed sister," she boasted.

Petra nodded. "I see that you are on your break?"

Isabel grinned, her eyes dancing with mischief. "Again, hardly. I am actually supposed to buy some oil for our equipment but I sneaked out a little earlier."

"Why so?"

Isabel took a sip of her tea, considering her question. "To see you," she finally answered truthfully.

Petra squinted at her. "Me?"

"Yes, you."

"Why?"

"I want to know who Aniki was talking to during his days in town."

"We only talked twice."

"He doesn't have a lot – actually, he never have – any off days. Twice is plenty."

"And?" Petra raised an eyebrow, her smile still lingering on her face.

"Hm," Isabel eased back on her stool, getting comfortable. She suddenly looked contemplative. "I guess I like you, much better than most other humans."

* * *

"Fancy seeing you here," Petra smiled brightly; it was a contrast from the heavy rain and gloomy skies outside. She lowered her book and peered over it at the forever-frowning man.

He nodded a greeting.

"Off day again?" Petra asked lightly. She took a sip of her tea, her eyes inviting him to take a seat opposite him. He hesitated. Not really wanting to be associated with her even in this…dream? Seeing her brought pain to him, a constant reminder of his failure to save her from the hands of death.

"No. I was here for some work," his face twisted into a grimace at the last word. Erwin and he had to enter Wall Sina for some discussions about their forever shrinking budget. In this world, it seemed that the Survey Corps was not doing any better – maybe worse – than his current world. Whatever that world or this world even fucking mean.

He had been in this continuous dream for times more than he liked. He figured out a few things. Firstly, whenever he was in this dream, memories of him in this world filled into his brain, allowing him to make sense of what he was doing if he "woke up" in a particular situation. Secondly, everything else in this world was the same except for the existence of Furlan and Isabel and the fact that he never knew his squad. He had never even seen Eld, Gunther or Oluo. Thirdly, the dream got progressive longer each time he dreamt. He had no idea why but knew that it rang a warning. He was guessing that if he did not find a solution soon – either to get out of here or choose to stay forever – then the Universe would choose for him to stay here.

To say Levi was conflicted would be an understatement. He had always been clear cut with his decision – rational and logical. So, why was he so wishy-washy? This wasn't like his style at all.

A soft giggle broke into his pondering. His steel grey irises fell on the girl.

Perhaps it was hard because it was about her. If it were someone else – Oluo, Eld or Gunther – it wouldn't be so difficult. He really had no qualm that he would choose Isabel and Furlan over them. Heck, he would choose Isabel and Furlan over anything. If in this world, he was crippled; or living in the Underground; or just sustaining his livelihood with nothing but them, he would still choose the red hair ponytail girl and silver blonde hair man. Because they were his happiness.

Yet, it was hard for Levi to shake off the illustration of honey blonde hair in the corner of his mind. The days spent together – the festival, the nights together, the kisses – only served to allow the image of the fair maiden to slip into his brain more and more.

"Sorry. Your facial expression," the Petra that was not his said, pulling him out of his deep thoughts. "Is there anything bothering you though?" Her smile faded away, replaced by a look of concern. "Please, sit down. You are drench to the bone." She stood up. "I will get you a cup of tea."

Levi nodded, registering his fate that Petra had determined. He sat down, albeit unwillingly. However, he did not want to be rude to her. He looked at the book she was reading. There was no title on it.

"Here," she came back with a towel and a steaming cup of tea. She set the saucer down and handed him the towel.

"You look like the boss," he remarked. He wiped his hair free of rain droplets but he could nothing much with the wet uniform that clung onto his skin. He always had to deal with this type of thing on training and expedition but it was unpleasant now, considering he wasn't doing either. He had parted with Erwin as he refused to stay with those disgusting idiots from Sina more than necessary. On his way back, it had rained and he had just entered a shop to seek shelter.

Coincidentally, it was this café.

"I am," Petra answered. She picked up her book again and closed it. "The shop owner sold it over a few days ago to my fiancé. He gifted me with this shop," she smiled.

"That is nice," Levi replied. Opening a tea shop was always his dream. One where he wouldn't be able to achieve anyway. He noted how her smile seemed so radiant and genuine; he had to stop himself from staring at her for too long. She looked so happy here. The Petra in his own world would smile too but the true genuine ones were rare. Usually, it was out of her politeness and her cheery personality.

"Thank you. So, how have you been doing? Hmm…let's see. This is the second time we saw each other, right?" She nodded to herself, not waiting for Levi's respond. "How are you and that subordinate?"

Levi almost scalded his tongue. It was unnerving seeing Petra being so frank and upfront with him. The Petra he knew in the other world was always creeping around him and talking to her on such personal level brought back the memories of him and her together on her tiny bed. That night. Whatever possessed Levi that night to stay in her room and talk about her life was not something he had strength now to find out. But he had enjoyed himself. It was not lust that night. They didn't even hug. They had just talked. It felt good to interact with someone like this. It had been such an incredibly long time since Isabel and Furlan. No one ever came close to him because he was "fucking intimidating"; not that he would allow them to anyway. But she was special.

"As usual," he shrugged, not giving away a lot. He sipped his tea, eyes subtly watching the girl opposite him. It felt good to see her healthy and happy in this world.

Noticing that he lacked some interest in talking, she took her book and flipped it opened. They spent their time quietly together across the table until the rain stopped.

* * *

Levi awoke with a start. His back was drenched with sweat and he tched. He blinked, adjusting to the darkness. He was in his room but not on his bed. He frowned for a second, confused and bewildered. Then, his mind began retrieving the memories from the fog. It seemed that he had gotten a dizzy spell again and the last thing he remembered was sliding against a cabinet. Well, then it looked like he had not moved from then, Levi thought as his sight was parallel to his bed. He was slumped against the cabinet. Slowly standing up, he hissed as the stab of dull pain at the back of his head. His eyes did a quick check on the sky. What-

He jolted. It seemed that it was past midnight already. But dinner was around eight. He exhaled sharply. Though training for evening was cancelled due to the extension of Erwin and his meeting, he still had documents to do. He grabbed his Survey Corps jacket and shrugged it on. Maybe some fresh air would calm him down. Had he seriously dreamt for so long? This was the first.

In that instant, he knew he had to make his decision soon – way too soon than he really wanted to. He knew he wanted Furlan and Isabel to be alive. That, he was sure. Seeing them alive in that world and being given a chance to live in that world, to be with them…it was everything he wanted and the mere thought of it made him…happy. A foreign feeling. Unfamiliar but pleasant. Similar to the feeling he experienced with the ginger hair owner? He halted in his train of thoughts.

Petra. Does she make him happy? Levi pondered over it as he walked down the stairs to the kitchen backdoor. It was a question he constantly ask himself these days, ever since the Festival. He made a mental note to give Oluo – whom he had assigned to clean the kitchen the other day – a piece of his mind when he absentmindedly spotted a tiny stain on the corner of the floor.

He pushed the thought aside – again. Too complicated for the time being, something he always said nowadays whenever this area of thought aroused .But this time around, he was not in the state to think about it because the dull throbbing had returned. He winced a little and steadied himself near the sink. Hanji's words came back.

 _"I really don't know what the hell would happen to the you in this universe."_

That would be another concern. What happened when he choose a certain world? He knew his abilities to a certain limit, and that he was slightly above the rest of the soldiers in term of skills, but he had never give a damn about it. Everyone is vulnerable – no one is undefeatable. But he understood that without him, Survey Corps may lose one of their vulnerable soldiers. And they didn't even have many to spare. He clenched his fist unconsciously. He reminded himself sharply to ask Hanji to research more about it.

He reached for the backdoor but realised it was unlocked. He narrowed his eyes. A thief? He pushed the door opened

He froze.

It was a moonlit night with the crescent moon suspended over a midnight backdrop. The moonlight splashed down its watery white-silver glow onto the ground and stable surrounding the castle, bathing them and illuminating them. In the distance, trees were silhouetted against the deep velvety sky. It was a breath-taking night.

But Levi's attention was stolen from the beautiful scene. He was focused on the lone girl leaning against the stable wall, her eyes closed and her face tilted up to the sky. The moonlight washed over her in blinding silver, accentuating her saccharine sweet lips. They were lilac soft, Levi mused as his gaze swept over her lithe figure. His eyes zeroed back to her lips again. He wanted to feel it again, wanted her sweet intoxicating taste…

Sensing someone, Petra opened her eyes and warm honey orbs met cold calculating steel grey.

"Heichou?" The girl widened her gaze.

Levi raised an eyebrow. "I am disappointed, Petra. I had expected you to find a better spot to muse over things."

"How did you know I am musing over-" Petra started.

"You are easy to read," Levi shrugged. He watched under curious eyes as she flushed.

"Why are you up?" Levi asked again, strolling over to her.

"I can't sleep," she said simply, eyeing him and the distance between them. "It is a good place to muse over things," Petra added softly.

"No shit, Petra. It is a good place with the acrid smell of horse manure and constant snortings from those horses," Levi replied dryly. He watched her suppressed a smile but failed. Her lips curled up. Her damn soft lips.

"I suppose you are right," she nodded, pretending to look serious but failing. "But I can't be disturbed-"

As if on cue, a loud snort came from within the stable.

Levi made a noise of amusement, watching as the honey blonde turned red. He always felt so light around her. "Petra, when do you think training is beginning again?"

"Eh?" Petra tilted her head to the side, squinting in confusion. "Erm, maybe in another 3 hours?" she answered slowly.

"And do you think we can have a cup of tea before that?" He asked, waiting for her respond.

She blinked, surprise lighting up her irises before a small smile broke on her face. "Yes."

* * *

"Petra, you make the best tea," Levi confessed.

Petra let slip a small laugh. "Heichou, are you drunk?"

"No. Just being honest," he shrugged. They fell silent and he looked down at his tea. In the other world, where she was not associated with him, the taste of the tea – light and slightly bitter – would just be a memory. He took a sip. In his peripheral vision, he saw the girl shrugged off her Survey Corps jacket. He almost gagged on the mouthful of tea. Creamy skin, only marred by the long ugly lines of cicatrices, the pink shininess bright against the dark room – the everlasting poignant reminders of the experiences she had as a soldier. Yet in Levi's eyes, it was perfect. His gaze travelled south, unable to help himself as a tiny bit of cleavage exposed stole his attention. He quickly diverted his gaze again, slightly disgusted with himself. Not only because he just ogled at his subordinate's body but also because he had ogled and felt something. His mind had pulled him back to the night they had together for just that fleeting moment.

"Heichou," Petra's gentle voice broke the silence, drawing him again back to presence. "Can I ask a question?"

"Shoot."

"I didn't manage to ask again earlier on… but why did you say I was sick?"

Levi's lips were touching the rim of the cup when she asked but he stilled. Exhaling silently, he puts down the cup. He knew she would be persistent. It was one of the traits he quite like about her as a soldier. Never giving up, persisting to the end. But he wouldn't like it now.

"Would you like the squad to know that you oversleep because we were talking the whole night?" Levi asked bluntly. He took another sip of his tea, his eyes resting on the girl across him who squirmed in her seat. Then, she nodded. Her eyes trained on her own cup of tea, avoiding his gaze. Levi suspected that she felt uncomfortable with the topic of their night together. His heart clenched but he ignored the ache.

"Heichou, permission to ask one more question."

"Hm?"

"Why didn't you wake me up?"

Levi raised the cup to his lips again. He took another sip, relishing in the fragrance of the black tea. He sets it down again, taking his time to answer. Her face contented with her sleep drifted into his mind. Peaceful, innocent, beautiful.

"You were sleeping," he answered and the second the words were out of his lips, he almost snorted at his own retarded answer. Perhaps it was because it was out of respect for him or perhaps it was because she knew he was lying, she quietly accepted the answer.

Levi sighed silently. He reached across for her empty cup and swept up his own to wash at the sink. He could feel her eyes piercing into his back but he ignored it. Instead, he rinsed the cups and placed them back on the rack.

"Petra, you need to wake up in another 2 hours," he said. It was his way of telling her to go to sleep. Subtly, it was his way of saying he had finished the conversation.

"Yes, Heichou. Goodnight," her voice was hesitant and soft, as though as there were more words on her tongue but she swallowed it down. "Thank you for accompany me tonight."

He did not turn around as he heard her footsteps – yet again, hesitant – fading into the distance. He waited for there to be silence before the sigh he had suppressed since she had asked him about the reason why he did not wake her up was released. A feeling of dread and guilt stabbed him hard.

He had lied well. It was his way of living in the Underground and his way of speaking to the Sina pigs sometimes. He was fluent in lying, if there was such thing. But lying to her…it was wrong. It felt wrong.

* * *

Petra woke early. She barely slept an hour, excluding her tossing and turning. She grimaced as she could feel her body protesting furiously at her lack of sleep. She threw her cover away from her body and as she was making up her bed, sounds of neighing and hoofs stamping the ground wafted into her ears. She blinked, surprised. Sudden anxiety clung to her heart. Was she late again? She ran hurriedly to her window and peered down.

Immediately, her anxiety dissipated, leaving a new feeling of curiosity. Through the view her window offered, she could see that most of the horses in the stable were still around. This meant that they had not set off since they would need the horses for today's training. However, there was a white stallion whom Petra recognised as Erwin's. What was the commander doing here so early…?

She quickly tidied up her bed, washed up and threw on her uniform. She was slightly clumsy in her hurried steps, heart pounding against her ribcage as unpleasant thoughts raised in her mind. The last time Erwin had come over unannounced was during the time where the Wall had been breached. It was only when she was halfway down the stairs when she realised she forgot to wear her boots.

She headed downstairs, regardless of her bare feet, afraid and uncertain. However, only Gunther was around. He was scrubbing his boots. He greeted Petra with a quick warm smile. She returned it quickly, scanning his face for signs of tenseness. Satisfied that there wasn't, she spoke.

"What is Commander doing here so early?"

"I think he is here to discuss the expedition," Gunther shrugged. "The Captain would tell us about it later."

"So…nothing too terrible?"

Gunther turned around, fixing his eyes on the younger lady. His eyes softened in understanding. "I don't think so. Commander came in looking alright."

Petra heaved a sigh of relief. She looked around. "Where are the rest?"

"I would presume they are getting up soon. Or they would be late and they all know how pissed Captain would be. Want me to scrub your boots?" He offered.

Petra smiled. "Do you mind?" Her voice was teasing. Had it been anyone else in the Survey Corps, she would had reddened and denied violently. But she was comfortable with her team. They were like her family when she was away from her father.

"I guess I will be Cinderella to my evil stepsister," Gunther said, his face morphing into mock seriousness. Petra giggled and pretended to look offended by him calling her "evil". Feeling lighter, she turned and headed up the stair to retrieve her boots. In her anxiousness earlier on, she had forgotten her boots.

At the landing, she saw the tall and sturdy man in blonde hair. She shuddered a little as his icy blue eyes focused on her. The man was kind to her but there was always something about his eyes that made her shudder. To Petra's puzzlement, he looked mildly surprised and slightly worried, despite his usual collected demeanor.

"Good morning, Petra. I would have thought you would be in bed still. Please do rest in your room," he frowned at her and Petra felt like she was reduced to a little child misbehaving. "Levi said you were feeling pretty sick and I do know that he had recently been feeling something too. Perhaps it was passed on to you since you had been taking care of him." The man raised one of his bushy eyebrow. "We will have you quarantined till next Friday. Have a good rest," he nodded at her and left.

Her throat tightened. Suddenly, the air around her seemed to stiffen and she found it hard to breathe. What was that?

Maybe Levi had made an excuse for her absent yesterday during training. Wasn't Commander also closely monitoring Eren's growth? She bit her lips, disconcerted and perturbed, not willing to believe her own reasoning. Erwin never really probed around the attendance.

Levi appeared on the landing, having walked out of the room where he had been discussing with Commander mere minutes ago.

Petra snapped her head up and looked at him, her eyes unfocused until he called her twice. First time in greeting. Second time with a voice tilting toward concern. She responded that she was fine and he told her to go down to the kitchen in two minutes for some announcements.

By the time she had settled at the kitchen table, her boots were not scrubbed and Gunther had threw a look of confusion at her. She hastily mouthed that there was no time.

Levi took the seat at the head of the table. He glanced at her, a look of concern flashing into his grey irises. Petra blinked and realised everyone was looking at her too.

"I will make the tea," Eld broke the silence. Petra snapped her head up as the second-in-command stood up. She had forgotten about the tea. She mentally slapped herself.

As Eld busied himself to put the water to boil, Petra lowered her gaze, avoiding the questioning and concerning looks everyone was giving her.

"Petra, are you still not feeling well?" Eld asked gently as he set down the cups. Levi quickly took it up and sipped it. His face crumpled into a frown. "The tea is bad, Eld," he commented straightfowardly. The blonde hair man coughed in embarrassment and sat down.

Petra looked up and frowned. Why did everyone ask her that? She knew it was the normal thing to ask but it irked her. Which was a surprise. She usually had a very mild temper. Perhaps Commander's words had an effect on her.

"We start our training immediately after this meeting. I hope you all had your breakfast," Levi said in a blasé tone. As though as he acknowledge that Petra was not feeling well when she did not answer. She shifted and out of her corner of her eyes, she saw Oluo's face twisting into a grimace. The group kept quiet. Obviously, none had their breakfasts but dare not speak.

Levi continued. "Erwin came and see me just now. The objective of the expedition will still be the same. Our intention is to reach Shiganshina District and locate Grisha Yeager's basement which held the secrets of titans. We are to protect Eren all the way."

There were several nods from them. Petra bit her lips, knowing Levi did not reveal the secret intention Erwin had told them a few weeks ago before the expedition was delayed for Eren was present. To draw out the spy – if there were any.

"The expedition would begin next Thursday. This would mean that we had less than…"

The raven hair man's voice was tuned out as icy fingers grasped her heart without warning. What…? What…wait. Didn't commander said she was to be quarantined to Friday? But if the expedition…wait… She suddenly felt sick. An urge to retch came over her quickly. She reached for her cup but her fingers trembled.

"…Petra would be unable to join the expedition this time around. She is quarantined by Erwin for a certain virus."

Her hand clutched the handle of the cup in time for his voice to reach her. A stab of confusion. A stab of bewilderment. Another stab of anxiety-

Her fingers slipped through the handle and the cup fell to the floor. The sound of the cup breaking was deafening in the silence that followed.

"Petra?" Levi was the first to speak.

"P-permission to head to the restroom," her voice sounded timid and small to her. But it must not had been her imagination because she could see – in her sudden blurry sight – that the whole squad was staring at her with worry. Only the man at the head of the table remained collected.

"Permission granted," he said quietly. Without another word, Petra tore through the kitchen to the communal bathroom. She leaned over the toilet bowl and gagged. The confusion and fear had led to churning in her stomach. Yet, because she had nothing yet, only transparent liquid came out. What was happening? She was not sick! She-

Heichou!

She widened her eyes and staggered up. She needed to find him. She flushed the toilet and washed her hand and rinsed her mouth. She leaned against the door of the kitchen. Why was she pulled out of the expedition? Did she do anything wrong? What…why would Commander pull her out? She was capable, wasn't she? Did she…was it because Hanji told Commander about Heichou and her one night stand-

Wait, was it a one night stand? No, no. Not important now. No matter what it was that night, did anyone told her off? Was she suspended? Was the sickness an excuse?

But it does not make sense. Commander would have said something more this morning if he had found out; punishment would be immediate. Anyway, even if punishment was not immediate, she should not be pull out. The Survey Corps need as many people as possible for the expedition. In addition, she was in the Special Operation Squad.

Must find Heichou, she thought desperately. She unlocked the bathroom door and ran to the kitchen. However, she was greeted by an empty kitchen. With her heart pounding in her chest and her mouth dry with fear, she went to the front of the door to find them. If they had left – if – they should not be far.

To her consternation, the door was locked. She recoiled as though as the handle burned her hand. What-

She turned, without a second glance at the door, and hurried to the backdoor. The door was locked too. She stared at the door for a full minute, feeling helpless. She frowned deeply. With hand shaking so badly, she tried the handle again.

It was locked.

* * *

"Heichou, are we leaving Petra behind?" Oluo asked as he stepped out into the morning sunlight.

"She is not to participate since she is sick. She would be quarantined starting today for the virus," Levi answered.

"She does seem sick," Eld agreed. "With Petra missing, we need to work a lot harder."

"I am sure we can do well!" Oluo replied confidently, nudging Eren. "We have extra trainings!"

The younger brunette smiled unconvincingly.

"Less talking, more training," Gunther huffed, annoyed by Oluo's confidence.

Levi watched the exchange quietly. He turned around hastily, not letting the rest of the squad see, and locked the main door. He had already locked the backdoor last night after Petra left.

Petra.

Her frozen and hurt expression was etched in his mind. He closed his eyes, annoyed with himself. If the retribution for him doing this was to die, then so be it. He deserved it. He had went almost half insane trying to lie to Erwin. He threw away his damn pride to ask the four eyes freak for some favours. For her though. He had to do it. With the expedition close, and with Hanji warning him that he may not had enough time left, he had to risk it. If there was something he learned from his past time-travelling, it was that Fate would not step aside so easily. The cruel hand of Fate would remain undeterred; He would take away her from him again and again. It was her fate to die, He was telling him. Just like how it was Isabel and Furlan's fates.

Then, Fate gave him a chance. Mocking him. Ridiculing him. Gave him three options. First, save the humanity in this world but throw her away. Second, save her but risk humanity wiping out. Third, throw her away and return to his two closest friends and save humanity with them.

Yet, he chose the second choice. Of all the damn choices. He was being selfish, he knew. It was uncharacteristic of him, as Hanji told him when he met her the day after he had shared the night with Petra talking.

He recalled the squad leader's words.

* * *

 _He had rode his way to Hanji's squad residence even before dawn broke. He had slept for three hours – he had always sleep much more with the ginger head than when he was alone – before waking up in cold sweat. He had hurried back to his room and jumped into his own shower with fear clinging to his every being. He hated sleeping; the nightmares of blood and dead comrades always seeped into his dream. This time, it was her. Her deathly pale skin, her soulless eyes, her beautiful features ruined by death and the way her body twisted at a weird angle._

 _He had closed his eyes, attempting to collect himself. After a few minutes, when it was working, he stopped the shower and stepped out. He dressed and it was at that point he had decided to go and see Hanji. On the way out, he passed by her room and quietly opened the door. She was still sleeping, unaware that he had left. He stared at her face for a little, knowing he was being creepy and should anyone saw, he would be deemed a pervert behind his back. But her face was angelic even in sleep._

 _He had tangled himself too much into her life. It was not his intention when he had agreed to postpone the expedition, to postpone her eventual death. He wanted to save her but Fate got into the way. He struggled between Furlan and Isabel or Petra. The answer should jump right at him. It did. It jumped right at him._

 _Furlan and Isabel._

 _Of course. They were his everything. His happiness. When they died, it was like a piece – a large part of him – died with them. But he couldn't fathom the emptiness that threatened to crush him every single time he was in the dream. Every time, he interacted with Furlan and Isabel, he had this weird empty feeling. Like a gaping hole in his heart. He was happy with them, without a doubt. But why the hole then?_

 _When he woke up that morning, with her bloodied face in his head still, paramount fear had clung onto his heart, making his steps heavy. He knew he was being irrational now. A part of him was screaming at him to slow down, to make a better judgement. But he can't._

 _He wanted to try again – even if it could be at the cost of his life this time, even if this decision would affect his chance to forever be with Isabel and Furlan – he wanted to try and save her, to see her alive._

 _In the presence, he dismounted and headed for the wooden door. Hanji's residence was simpler than his squad's and resembled a cottage. He knew the four eyes was an early riser._

 _The door opened before he knocked and out came the tall lady in ponytail. She did not question Levi but greeted him in a cheery manner._

 _Inviting him to sit at the common area, she walked away to the kitchen._

 _"Ugh, don't bother making tea!" Levi grunted as his eyes rested on the small coffee table in front of him. There was a board lying there and a few pieces of small statures._

 _Chess, he recognised. Furlan always had a fascination of it even when he was Underground and had wanted to do try it out. Levi halted his thoughts before they could remind him darkly of how he never had a chance._

 _"Why?" Hanji's voice hollered back._

 _Levi suppressed a sigh and stood up. He had a feeling Hanji's squad was still sleeping and it was not his intention to wake them up. He headed over to the archway separating the small common area and kitchen. "Four eyes, the last time you made some tea, you almost burned the kitchen down. Moblit had to save the day."_

 _"He is here today, upstairs sleeping; he can save the day again!" Hanji replied cheerfully. Levi suddenly had an urge to drag her back to the common room. Which he had no doubt he will if she continued testing his patience._

 _"Hanji, I will drag you by the ponytail if you don't come here this instance," Levi threatened sinisterly. Hanji pouted, reminding Levi of a child. He tched as he led the way back._

 _Hanji sat down and crossed her legs, waiting for him to speak._

 _"Hanji, I need a plan," he leaned forward, his eyes automatically swerving back to the chess pieces._

 _Hanji's eyes followed his. Instead of answering his statement, she said, "Some pieces are missing."_

 _"Were you playing it alone?"_

 _"Yes."_

 _"Why am I not surprised?" Levi remarked dryly but he widened his gaze a little as something struck him._

 _"Hanji," he reached forward to grab a piece._

 _"This is the queen from the white side."_

 _"A chess piece could not be captured by the other side if it was not in the presence, could it?" Levi asked suddenly. It was a rhetorical question._

 _"Huh, of course not-" Hanji paused. Her eyes lighted up with comprehension for a second before the light faded away and her eyes narrowed._

 _"No, Levi. You can't be thinking what I am thinking."_

 _Said raven hair man ignored her and reached forward to grab a piece beside the one with a crown – that resembled a cross – on top. The piece he retrieved gingerly from the board resembled a tower._

 _From his talks with Furlan, this seemed to be an important piece. It protected the King with a special move called Castling. However, he also knew these pieces were extremely powerful only when they were protecting each other and working together._

 _"Not the rook, Levi," Hanji's voice sounded borderline frantic. Well, if she was on the same path as his thought, she should be._

 _"If we lose a piece – any piece, much less the rook – the black king would win," Hanji said again; this time the hysterics in her voice was transparent. "We need the white king to live; he would be our only chance of survival for humanity."_

 _Hanji had apparently abandoned all pretence to talk in circle and riddle with him. It was obvious to both of them Eren was the white king. The black king would be the damn traitor – Annie Leonhart. Levi seethed, anger bubbling in him fast._

 _"Levi, focus. We can find another way. We cannot – absolutely cannot – have Petra removed from your squad for this expedition. That is insane! She held one of the best record for Survey Corps. She is one of the strongest! Can you imagine this expedition – this important expedition – without her? You are jeopardising not only the Survey Corps' reputation and your rest of the squad's lives but also my squad and hundreds of others-"_

 _"I know! I know! Fuck! You think I have a choice-"_

 _"You have! You could let her go into the expedition! You could let her be use-"_

 _"She is not a pawn!" Levi practically growled, his composure spiralling out of control faster than he could help it._

 _"Levi, stop," Hanji said quietly; steel evident in her voice. Her voice was eerily quiet after his rough tone. "You are not yourself now."_

 _"I am! I just want to save my squad-!"_

 _"Levi, you know the importance of your squad in Survey Corps! You know the risk! When you handpick them the very first day, you know you are setting them on the course of death!" Hanji said with frustration. Her voice was louder than she intended it to be but Levi's uncharacteristic proposal had thrown her into disbelief. And fear._

 _The silence after her words left her mouth was thunderous. "Look, Levi-" she started changing her way of speaking but she was cut off abruptly by his glare. If looks could kill, she wouldn't even be sixth feet under – she would just be a pile of ashes._

 _Levi surveyed the woman in front him icily, his breath ragged from his menacing tone. Years of knowing the ponytail, he knew she knew she had hit a sore spot. The damage had been done._

 _If there was one thing Levi cannot swallow, it was the fact that he were constantly sending his men to Hell. Of course, he trusted his subordinates and fellow soldiers. But he was no fool. Death in this line of job was imminent, unpredictable and immediate. There would be no wallowing or grieving. For Levi, tears were non-existential. He was Humanity Strongest. If he had even show a fraction of weakness, it would affect the morale of the Survey Corps should words spread – of course they would._

 _But days after days, nights after nights, even long after the expeditions, he would be appalled and disgusted at himself. The time alone at night during the periods without expeditions would be the worse. He would berate himself for losing men – sons or daughters of someone, wives or husbands of someone, fathers or mothers of someone – and then the loathing would come. If one thinks that his detestations for the Sina pigs and the rich bastards and scumbags were bad, they were wrong._

 _His resentment for himself was greater. That was why he rarely slept. Apart from the constant nightmares of blood, grimness and dead soulless eyes, he was doing it to punish himself. He always promise soldiers who passed on to carry on their wills but he was contemptuous of his weak promises. To how many more must he promise before he could fulfil them?_

 _"Levi-" Hanji started again. Her voice was tired. "We have to find another way-"_

 _"I tried everything," he said coldly. His composure seeping in again. Regaining. Closing up._

 _Hanji seemed to relax a little at his tone. He knew she was relieved that he seemed to be calming down._

 _"Perhaps there is still another way," Hanji said. She reached forward, waiting for Levi to hand her the piece still clutched in his hand. "Your squad needs Petra. There is no way your squad can lose any members in any expeditions," Hanji adjusted her spectacle with one hand, the other still outstretched. Waiting._

 _"She dies. They die," he said monotonously. He saw Hanji flinched outwardly. He knew that Hanji was affected – in the other time line when his squad died. After all, they were close. "There is no more time, four eyes freak. You know that. Knowing Erwin, the date should be fixed to next week," he said._

 _Hanji didn't say anything but Levi knew she agreed. He had shared all that he had tried in the other timelines. Hanji had been in awed with some, though Levi would not give her the satisfaction by letting her know that she from the other timelines planned it._

 _"Then, what?" Hanji started, breaking the silence. Her gaze dropped to his hand. "You are just saving one rook? Not all?" She narrowed her gaze at him, accusation dripping into her voice. They were back to speaking in riddles._

 _He shifted. It was the flaw in this plan. Save her. Let the others die. Fuck. He was really one hell of a desperate man. But her warm eyes, so full of life, so beautiful, flashed into his mind._

 _"Hanji, seeing her die times and times again, it is not right," he confessed. For this woman had known him for years, after Isabel and Furlan had died. As much as she annoyed the living daylight out of him, she was probably the only one he trusted enough. Well, her and **her.**_

 _"Do you not agree with me that this is the only way?" He raised his cold steel grey irises at her._

* * *

Hanji rolled her eyes as her squad exploded into loud protests, protesting that she always leave them alone whenever she wanted to escape the tedious work such as refilling oil and checking the equipment. But Hanji replied cheekily that she was the squad leader. And cue the protests. They escalated further when she started pulling on her riding boots.

"Are you going to see Captain Levi?" Moblit asked. Hanji nodded.

"To apologise?" The man offered and Hanji stopped in her track, looking over her shoulder at him.

"I heard some squabbles the other day," the light hair man looked sheepish. He quickly added, "I didn't hear anything."

Hanji relaxed inwardly. "Just some arguments here and there. You know how he is. Man, he is so uptight!" Hanji snorted, trying to appear light. She was a good liar. She suddenly looked thoughtful. "But why did you think I am the one apologising?"

Moblit shrugged and offered the squad leader a nervous smile. "Aren't you always?"

* * *

Hanji rode her horse through the wood quietly. It was true she was always apologising. That was why she had looked so surprise that he had apologise that day.

 _Hanji played with the remaining pieces on the table absentmindedly. She gazed at him, sighing softly. He still looked so composed, face still so ugly. But she knew he was broken. Who wouldn't be after seeing the dead and bloodied face of the woman he loved – not that that guy was going to be admitting it out loud – again and again? Seeing his entire squad die on him must had felt like living hell._

 _"So, you are telling me to lie with you to Erwin about Petra's illness?" She clarified._

 _He nodded, his eyes fierce and his lips in a thin line._

 _"You honestly think Erwin would believe?" Her eyes fell on the chess piece still in his hand._

 _"He thought I caught some virus, didn't he?" Levi said, turning the chess piece around and around in his hand. "It is easy to say it spreads, considering that she was in my room, taking care of me."_

 _Hanji sighed heavily. "Do you honestly think we can win without your full squad?" Hanji gestured toward the chess board. "We can't even play the damn game with a missing piece."_

 _"We will just be at a disadvantage."_

 _"A disadvantage we don't need!" Hanji cried out snappily. "Furthermore, we don't even know how many more soldiers we may lose-"_

 _"My squad focuses on protecting Eren-"_

 _"Exactly! If he dies-"_

 _"The expedition is doomed to fail."_

 _"You didn't say that Eren would die," Hanji pointed out bitterly. "In other timelines, it was always because you wanted to save Eren. You know he is more important. I am sorry. I treasure and love your squad too. But you know he is important. What is the change this time-"_

 _"Do you understand the feeling of seeing someone dying again and again in front of you and feeling helpless?" He interrupted her; his voice quiet and morose but there were something else in it if a person pay more attention. A quiet agony. A lonely suffering. A broken heart._

 _"Are you going to tell Erwin soon?" She asked instead. She was being cruel, she knew. But this was the line of their work. Always putting humanity in front of anything precious to them._

 _"Yes."_

 _Hanji took a deep breath. "Don't do this, Levi. You know Erwin trusts you. He would believe you if you said Petra is sick and need to be pulled out for this expedition. Don't do this… it is unfair to your squad too."_

 _She knew her last sentence struck hard because his usual collect character slipped a little; he recoiled an inch, like she had slapped him. Just an inch, almost imperceptible but it was there. Hanji read him well._

 _He suddenly stood up. Hanji glanced up, slightly startled. "Levi," her tone was a warning. She knew once he left the room, his decision would be made. "Levi, this is not like you. We both know what it means to be in Survey Corps. If you tell Erwin, I may have to tell him the truth that you lied-"_

 _"I am sorry."_

Her horse whined and she looked up. She had reached her destination. Sighing, she dismounted, heading to the castle towering over her.

* * *

Levi allowed the whistle of the wind to pass his ears and for the breeze to caress his hair and cheeks as he sliced through the nape of the mock titan. At the corner of his eyes, he saw his squad practicing hard too. His eyes landed on Eren, watching as he cuts one successfully. He knew that with the expedition delayed, Eren's skills had improved. Yet, it was not that he did not trust the young brunette but he was being realistic. He was too unpredictable. The Titan Power was. And he cannot risk her dying on him again. He knew it was his fault that he had gotten too close to her, that it was becoming apparent to him that she was his breath of fresh air and sunlight, and that the mere thought of losing her would be too much to bear.

And that was why he tossed away his sanity. For just this moment, he wanted to choose her. Choose her over humanity. He wanted to.

They said happiness was a state of mind. They said happiness was being contented. They said happiness was many a thing.

But he thought, at that very moment, happiness was insanity.

* * *

 **Author's Note: Hi! Another long chapter again. It was supposed to be longer but I cut it into two. I hope everyone is having a good summer! It is so hot so drink plenty of water and take care!**

 **Levi: Are you our mother?**

 **Me: T.T**

 **So back to my main point. It is up to you if you read this part or not. Personally, I don't want to make this note but after some thoughts, it became obvious that I need to. I have received a few reviews and messages that praised that my story had been doing a good job on portraying Levi's character. Thank you hehe! So delighted to hear it.**

 **But I know this chapter may have disappointed you. I would like to say this chapter portrays a darker and deeper side of Levi that we don't see in anime. It is my own personal inference of course. The characterization of Levi in this chapter is off, way off if you read the manga - as mentioned by Hanji in this chapter. It is intentional, do not worry. Hence, the title of this chapter. Now, I wrote this note not because I want to be defensive (constructive criticisms are still welcome!) but I don't want to disappoint. I don't want to elaborate too much because I really want readers to be able to interfere things in this story on their own.**

 **Side note: The delay in the story is caused by my research in chess. I took a little while for it is not something I am familiar with. Please forgive me if you spotted some mistakes. You can kindly point it out. Thank you~**

 **Side side note: I made a poster for this story using photoshop!**


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